


Hollow Bastion Museum of Science

by Metal_Chocobo



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, M/M, Museums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-24 20:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metal_Chocobo/pseuds/Metal_Chocobo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a lot of benefits to working at a prestigious museum. Kairi hadn't realized meeting Yuffie was one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Very Bad Day

Kairi was not at all prepared for a 5 AM phone call. One moment she was in the pleasant darkness of dreamless sleep and the next she was groping about her bed for the object making the incessant noise. She only vaguely registered that it was her phone upon answering it.

“Kairi, you’ve got to come into work today!”

“I was… planning to?” Kairi mumbled. She blinked at her clock trying to squint enough to read the digital readout without her contacts. “Is it 6 AM?”

“A little before 5, look, I need you here by 7:30 thanks to the camp in.”

Kairi tried to jump-start her brain. She hadn’t needed to get up before 5 AM since high school keydo ended and her boss wasn’t making any sense. She had never camped in her life.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mickey. Why do I have to camp?”

“Camp in, Kairi, there was a camp in at the museum last night,” Mickey said patiently. “We’ve got two hundred scouts in the museum that will be waking up in two hours and I need you to come in early to cover Dinos and Fossils.”

“I’m not scheduled to work this morning,” Kairi said. She had finally woken up enough to understand what was going on. Her boss was trying to convince her to work an extra shift. “I close Body Worlds tonight and I’ve never worked Dinos and Fossils. Why isn’t whoever’s supposed to cover this shift covering it?”

“Donald’s got bird flu. I’ve already called everyone else on the list who have already trained in Dinos and Fossils, but no one can work it.” Mickey sighed. “Please Kairi, I need you in for those first two hours then we can transfer you to another gallery after someone else gets here. You don’t need to know anything about the exhibits, just keep the kids from crawling on the dinosaurs or setting anything on fire. I promise we’ll make it up to you later.”

“Okay, okay,” Kairi said. She ran her hand over her face already regretting her decision. “I’ll try to be there by… 7:30?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

It was only after Mickey hung up that Kairi realized she had agreed to work a double shift with extended hours. Since Kairi had started working there the museum was open from 9:30 to 9:30, but during camp-ins the museum had to be fully staffed two hours early so that the kids could have a bit more fun before leaving the museum. Somehow she had just agreed to work for over fourteen hours and half of that was likely going to be in a gallery she didn’t know how to run.

“Well fuck,” Kairi said. Then she got out of bed.

In less than an hour Kairi was on her bike peddling to work. She had packed a larger lunch than usual, eaten Sora’s leftover pizza, and grabbed her change of clothes before heading out. Eight miles wasn’t that long of a bike ride, but Kairi knew she’d need to shower after she got to work and that would take a while. Otherwise she would have waited until dawn before going to play tag with a bunch of cranky commuters in SUVs.

Once she arrived at work Kairi entered through an employee door on level 1 and made a beeline for the women’s locker room. She showered, detangled the bird nest she pretended was hair, and dressed professionally. Then she took an elevator to level 5 to reach the staff break room. She stored her lunch in the fridge and checked the time. She had twenty minutes before she had to be on the floor. Her stomach demanded attention, the way it always did after her commute. She ate a breakfast burrito then clocked in. Now she was on museum time and quickly donned her work uniform: a maroon vest and radio with earpiece. She had yet to see any other gallery staff.

The Hollow Bastion Museum of Science, or HBMS, was the premiere institution of its kind in the kingdom. No other museum could boast of having such integration of research, teaching, and entertainment in its gallery displays created from a collection of over 3 million pieces, most of a historically or scientifically significant nature. Countless museums followed the practices and procedures created at HBMS and everyone wanted to borrow their traveling exhibits. Boasting over five hundred employees, one thousand volunteers, and a dozen professors shared through a cooperative learning program with the University of Radiant Garden, HBMS was a massive organization that only employed the best. It was an honor to work here.

‘Here’ to the Hollow Bastion Museum of Science meant the complex originally built as palace for the Horned Queen. While the original structure, it had really been more of a fortress than a palace, had been quite large to begin with, it had been expanded and renovated enough times over the last three hundred years, that it was simply cavernous. Very little of it actually housed the museum proper that visitors saw. Interspersed on all levels of the building were research, storage, education, internal office work, and half a dozen other functions Kairi couldn’t begin to guess. This meant that getting from section to section of the place she actually needed was a bit like scurrying through a rabbit warren, but she was beginning to learn her way around the place. These days she could find her way to all the galleries from the break room without getting lost.

Kairi felt like she had entered a war zone when she made it onto the floor. Despite last night’s gallery staff making their best efforts to stow any and all small objects away from small hands, the campers had still managed to make a mess of the entire level. Scraps of paper littered the floor like confetti and the stegosaurus looked like it had been glitter bombed. A bra hung off the head of the diplodocus. There were suspicious fragments next to a case of fossils that had been jimmied open. More issues were likely evident, but Kairi didn’t recognize them as the only time she ever spent on level 3 was the amount needed to circle round to the next flight of stairs on her way to level 2.

She spun around trying to access the situation. No chaperons were in sight. Kairi did eventually spot the four members of the camp in staff, but they were already two levels above her making a clean escape. For the moment she was on her own.

The children were far too noisy and rowdy to have just awakened. Kairi had a sneaking suspicion they had never gone to bed. This meant they were likely tired and cranky, less likely to listen to her reason. The most combative of the children seem to have been under a can of sky blue paint when it exploded. Kairi dubbed them the Nac Mac Feegles after a particularly rowdy set of book characters. The name suited them perfectly as most of the children were content to look or play in a constructive manner; the Nac Mac Feegles seemed hell bent on destruction.

Kairi spent the first two hours of her shift Feegle-minding. Mostly they were interested in ripping exhibits off walls, or stealing smallish objects, or climbing onto things that would not support their weight—like the crocodile skeleton. However they were also interested in harming others, primarily Kairi. The Feegles constantly pelted her, usually with small hard objects. Others ran about intentionally crashing into smaller campers to knock them down. This usually made the small children wail. Kairi lost track of the number of times Feegles ran into her. One particular monster kicked her in the shin twice. If she hadn’t needed the job she would have kicked him back in an even worse spot.

Kairi had never been more excited for the museum’s official opening. It meant there would be more gallery staff on the floor and she would hopefully go to one of her actual galleries. More importantly, this meant the campers had to leave as they only got the museum for the night. It was with a cheerful smirk Kairi waved farewell to the campers. She was certain that with their departure her day would get better. After all, Mickey promised to switch her to a job she actually knew how to do.

In fact, Mickey kept his promise and switched her to a job she knew. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean the day got any better. Herc traded places with her, as he often worked Dinos and Fossils, while the current traveling exhibit was one of the only two galleries Kairi knew how to manage. At the moment Hollow Bastion Museum of Science was proud to present Body Worlds, the traveling exhibit showing the machinery of life—or in other words—bodies that had been preserved to demonstrate anatomy.

Kairi had been specifically hired for this exhibit, along with another dozen people, however she had been taught to do the job with the help of two other people. Instead Kairi found herself saddled with the fifteen thousand square feet to care for on her own. This wouldn’t even have been so bad, but even as she ran around the exhibit turning on monitors and wiping fingerprints off the glass cases, a line from training that stated they were contractually obligated to have at least three staff members in the gallery at all times they were open danced through her head. Kairi didn’t want the Institute of Plastination coming after her for breach of contract. Forget the threat of forced plastination they had lawyers.

Normally, the traveling exhibit was, for lack of a better metaphor, a morgue. Today though, people just couldn’t seem to stay away. School group after school group flooded the exhibit and every person in the city with nothing better to do on a Friday decided to come see Body Worlds. Kairi could handle a crowded gallery. She had always been good at weaving in and out of crowds and had a knack for moving into places where spaces would be by the time she arrived. The problem was the visitors. As much as it pained her, Kairi was used to children labeling this rare opportunity to see the inner workings of the human body ‘disgusting.’ Though they usually forewent the three-syllable word and just said ‘gross.’ What she wasn’t used to was the teacher’s utter lack of perception; today they ignored their charges’ disinterest, and ordered the kids to stay in the gallery for an extra, unexpected hour. This occurred while still more school groups poured into the gallery.

Kairi had to sidestep and even leap over bodies. These weren’t plastinated ones either. Due to a total lack of sensory impute they were willing to accept, the middle schoolers had given up. All one hundred and thirty of them had dropped to the ground. Some sat in small groups talking, but most were sprawled across the floor. At first they just lined the walls of the gallery, but by the time Kairi reached the end of the exhibit she was wading through a sea of bodies.

Kairi rubbed her forehead. She could feel a headache coming. This was a serious fire hazard. Not only that, but they were also blocking the ability of anyone else to leave the gallery. If she didn’t get them moving again this place would become so jam packed she’d have guests pressed directly against the full body plastinates.

Kairi picked her way over to a group of adults wearing chaperone tags. There were three women in red, green, and blue. Two were clearly senior citizens, while Kairi pegged the third as entering middle age. She plastered on her best smile before addressing them.

“Oh hello dearie,” said the woman in green. The other two had yet to respond as they were too busy ignoring each other. “Lovely sunny day, isn’t it?”

“Umm, well I wouldn’t know since I’ve been inside since before dawn,” Kairi said. “But I’ll take your word for it.”

“Are the eyes real?”

“Partly,” Kairi began. This was the most commonly asked question. “Due to the fact the eye decomposes to the point where you can’t tell what the eye color was within 24 to 48 hours, I think the process starts with an ‘n,’ the iris and retina are replaced with glass. That means the rest of the eye, the white part, is real.”

“I had no idea.”

“We didn’t either, at first,” Kairi said. “Now about your children.”

“What about them?” snapped the younger woman in blue.

“Now, now, Merryweather,” said the green woman.

“Oh don’t bother with her, Fauna,” said the woman in red. “She’s rude and impertinent.”

“Better than being a know-it-all busybody,” shot back Merryweather. “You just have to decide what’s best for everyone.”

“Well, I am the most senior teacher on this trip.”

“Flora, please,” admonished Fauna. “Can’t we just get along?”

“Ladies, if we could set your differences aside for a moment,” Kairi said. “I need to talk to you about your students.” As she appeared to have their attention she continued, “Letting them lie on the floor like this is a problem for the other visitors. I doubt anyone can get out without stepping on someone. Perhaps you should take some of them out.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Merryweather said. “There’s no sense in keeping them here if they’re bored.”

“This is a rare educational experience,” Flora said firmly. “They will stay as long as possible to soak up every bit of information.”

“The only thing they’re soaking up is carpet fibers!” Merryweather spat, gesturing vehemently at the children on the floor.

The teachers glared at each other. Flora was fuming while Merryweather shook with rage. It was at that moment Kairi realized that Fauna was staring off into space. She suspected this was the green teacher’s coping mechanism for dealing with colleagues that clashed on a regular basis.

“Is the hair real?” Fauna suddenly asked.

“Yes, although it may not be hers,” Kairi said. She realized that they were having two different conversations that overlapped in place and time. “Now about the children, might I suggest you split the group into three parts?” Merryweather can take the children that are bored out to see other parts of the museum, Flora can keep the ones that are still interested in Body Worlds, and Fauna can…”

“Are the gardens open?” Fauna asked.

“They’re under three feet of snow,” Kairi said. She thought she’d better answer the woman’s exact question, otherwise she was afraid the teacher wouldn’t understand. Fauna had that air about her. “So no.”

“A pity.”

“So would that be an acceptable compromise?” Kairi asked. A chance to get rid of forty-four bodies was worth a risk. “And I know that level 2’s aquarium also has a fair amount of information on botany.”

“I like it,” Merryweather said, making Flora scowl.

“You always look for the easy way out,” the red teacher snapped.

“Ladies, I believe Merryweather is simply trying to tempt your students into learning about some of our other highly educational exhibits,” Kairi said. She wracked her brain in an attempt to remember which exhibits those were. “For example… we have the most comprehensive exhibit in the world concerning heartless that is open to the general public.”

“Really?” Flora asked.

Sensing she finally had the attention of all three teachers Kairi decided to plow on, even if she didn’t know the material. “Oh yes, it’s impressive. They have examples of pure and constructed heartless on display. We also have nullified keyblades and keychains. If I remember correctly, there are two pages of Ansem the Wise’s original report on display. Of course, there are copies for the current Ansem Report and instructional manuals for keydo in the gallery for people to read.”

“I thought the original manuscript was held in trust by the university,” Flora said.

“It is,” Kairi said. That was common knowledge. “But we have an agreement that allows us to display part of it. I don’t actually work in the Heartless Gallery, so you’ll have to talk to that gallery’s staff for more information.”

The three teachers formed a huddle. They whispered excitedly among themselves. Kairi felt a little awkward just standing there, especially as she could almost hear what they were saying. She looked down at the kids. No one had moved. Some had fallen asleep. That was impressive to her as she couldn’t imagine willingly sleeping by a corpse, plastinated or not. The teachers broke apart and looked at Kairi. She felt a surge of hope and quickly beat it back with a stick. It wouldn’t do to let them crush her.

“Thank you for the information,” Flora said, giving her a dismissive nod.

The teachers moved out into the crowd. Soon they were urging students to stand and begin herding them out of Body Worlds and back into the museum proper. It was a good thing Kairi got them moving when she did as the next wave looking to exit arrived before they were halfway through. There was non-stop exodus for about an hour.

It wasn’t until her lunch break that Kairi realized Mickey forgot to give her a morning break. What with the extra-extended shift at the museum she could have really used that morning snack break. Lunch was supposed to be the last remnants of the extra gooey macaroni casserole Sora had made, but when Kairi got back to the break room she found her lunch box empty. Kairi had to eat lukewarm ramen from a vending machine.

As Kairi walked back to her gallery she noticed that they were low on gallery workers. Normally they wore supposed to have a staff member per gallery, but today they appeared to only have one per floor. That would explain why she was on her own in Body Worlds. She guessed Mickey really meant it when he said he needed her there that morning.

Luckily the last two hours of her morning shift were quiet. Kairi looked forward to her two Friday cohorts showing up. Jasmine and Hayner were good eggs who would happily watch the exhibit while she used the bathroom. Unfortunately, when three o’clock rolled around the only person who showed up was Mickey. He tried to smile at her, but the day was weighing even more heavily on him.

“Gee whiz, Kairi,” Mickey said when she met up with him. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

“They’re not coming,” Kairi said.

“That about sums it up,” Mickey said. “Jasmine called from the ER after her boyfriend’s monkey bit her, while Hayner has car trouble. Anything I can do to help you?”

“Can you watch my gallery for a bit?” Kairi asked. “I’ve got to pee.” Mickey motioned for her to go and Kairi hobbled off to the nearest toilet.

When she returned Mickey said, “I’ll try to pass through as often as I can, but we’re running on a skeleton crew today.”

Kairi soldiered on best she could, but things were difficult. Body Worlds was too long and tightly coiled for one person to adequately cover. Most of the time Kairi felt like she was traveling back and forth in a small intestine and she simply wasn’t fast enough to reach someone in need or to stop damage from occurring.

That was how a little girl, who was bored, shook the case with the arterial chocobo in it and actually snapped the delicate blood vessel neck right off. Kairi had to call security in for that one. The parents blamed her for not keeping their child from causing trouble. The mother declared that the damage was Kairi’s responsibility, as she hadn’t kept the little girl properly entertained. Kairi was in tears.

One of the security guards, Kairi thought his name might be Squall, decided that he had had enough. He ordered the family of the vandal out of the exhibit. When they refused, he and another two guards forcibly removed them from Body Worlds. As the parents were dragged and the child carried away the rest of the guests broke into applause. Apparently no one had liked them.

The gallery emptied out after that. While Kairi didn’t have the entire gallery to herself, she could count all the visitors with just her fingers. It was quite peaceful among the plastinates. The dark warm environment was trying its best to put Kairi asleep, though all she really wanted was to sit down. Her feet felt like little blood filled balloons about to burst at any second. All of Kairi’s regular shifts lasted six hours. She couldn’t imagine how bad she’d feel in four hours after she finished the fourteen and a half hour shift from hell.

Kairi ran across a little boy curled up in a corner of the gallery. He clutched his stomach as he hid his face against his knees. She squatted down next to him and asked if he was okay. He shrugged. So Kairi asked if he could uncurl himself a little so she could get a better look. His face was a yellowish-green and overall he looked like he felt pretty crummy. Kairi asked if he’d like her to call first aid for him; she planned to call them anyway because he looked pretty sick. His response was to projectile vomit onto Kairi.

The only reason she didn’t scream was because Kairi knew that if she did, the vomit would drip into her mouth. She ripped her vest off and scrubbed the back, the clean side, against her face. Then she unclipped the radio from her belt. She switched to the security channel, as they handled all emergencies.

“Body Worlds to security,” Kairi said into the radio. “I have a medical emergency.”

“What’s the problem?” the radio crackled.

“I had a little boy throw up… all over me,” Kairi said. She choked back a sob. “I really need help.”

“We’re on our way. What’s your location?”

“Umm, I’m about halfway through Body worlds by the lungs.” The boy threw up again, but thankfully not on Kairi. “And he’s still being sick.” She cleared her radio and then just sat next to the boy. Technically she was also supposed to let Mickey know what was going on, but Kairi didn’t think she could summon enough energy to make another call.

When security arrived they took the little boy out of the gallery. They also assured Kairi they would take care of the rest of the problem and reunite the boy with his parents. Kairi nodded, but she couldn’t really absorb it right now as she was more focused on the vomit she was drenched in.

A security guard touched Kairi’s shoulder. Kairi looked up. It was Cloud, Sora’s uncle, the one who first told her about the job opening at HBMS. He was frowning, but that was normal. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m covered in someone else’s vomit. What do you think?” she asked.

Cloud pulled out his key ring. “Do you have access to the women’s locker room?” he asked. When she nodded he dropped the keys back into his pocket. “Go take a shower and change into something clean. Do you have more work clothes?” She shook her head. Cloud sighed. “I’ll send Paine down with some gear then. Do you need help getting down there?”

“I-I can manage,” Kairi said.

Cloud helped Kairi to her feet. He then escorted her out of Body Worlds and onto the nearest staff elevator. Kairi glanced at him feeling slightly annoyed. He hit the level 1 button and no other.

“I said I was fine,” Kairi said.

“I know. The main security office is also on 1,” he said. Kairi said nothing as she felt a little foolish. “I am sorry things worked out this way. This is the first time anyone has actually been vomited on by a guest since I started working here.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Eight years.”

They parted ways the moment the elevator doors opened. Kairi took her second shower of the day in the women’s locker room. Her towel was still slightly damp, even though it had been twelve hours since she had last used it. Things never properly dried in the locker room, which is why Kairi always brought a fresh towel to work. When she got out of the shower she found a black polo and black dress slacks waiting for her. It was obviously Paine’s spare set as they were woefully oversized on Kairi. The security guard did tower over the gallery worker. Still, Kairi did what she could by tucking the shirt in and rolling up the pant sleeves. Making a mental note to wash and return the ‘uniform’ as soon as possible Kairi went back to work. When she got back she found out Mickey counted that as her second half hour break.

By nine o’clock it was all Kairi could do to stay standing. And to even manage that she had to lean against a wall near the exit. Kairi knew she probably ought to keep walking around engaging visitors, but she just couldn’t. So she leaned against a wall and smiled.

“You look like you’ve had a rough day,” a woman said.

“You have no idea,” Kairi mumbled. Then she remembered she was still on the clock so she opened her eyes and smiled.

“Want to tell me about it?” the woman asked. Kairi thought she was a very pretty young Asian girl with a cheerful smile.

“I don’t think we have enough time for that,” Kairi said. “I hope you’ve been enjoying the exhibit?”

“Oh yes, it’s terrific. I love the blitzer plastinates.”

“Yes, the blitz ball players are a popular piece.”

“You seem pretty out of it.”

“Oh, don’t mind me,” Kairi said, stifling a yawn. “I’ve been here since six this morning”

“I thought the museum opened at nine-thirty.”

“We had a camp in and I’m not used to working a double, so I’m pretty tired. I hope you enjoy the rest of your visit.”

“You made it better,” the woman grinned. Then she exited the Body Worlds via the turnstile.

“Thanks for visiting Body Worlds,” Kairi called. Then she shut her eyes.

“Kairi,” Mickey said gently. Kairi opened her eyes. “It’s time for your last break.”

“Huh?”

“Since you’re working fourteen hours you get two half hour breaks and two fifteen minute breaks. This is your last fifteen minute break.”

Kairi groaned and pushed herself off the wall. She shambled out of Body Worlds and into an elevator in a zombie-like daze. From there, she wasn’t sure how it happened, Kairi found herself sitting at a table in the lobby with a hand waving an ice cream cone in her face.

“Bwaa,” Kairi said, snapping into awareness.

“You aren’t lactose intolerant, are you?” It was the girl from before. “I suppose I should have asked, but you didn’t look like you were up for much conversation.”

“Why are you buying me ice cream?” Kairi asked.

“Because you are having a shitty day. I’m Yuffie, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Kairi said accepting the cone. Her eyes started blinking rapidly and suddenly she was crying.

“Woah, woah, I’m sorry,” Yuffie said sounding distressed. “Ice cream isn’t supposed to make you cry.”

“I’m sorry,” Kairi said, wiping her eyes, with her wrist. “It’s just this is the first nice thing that’s happened to me all day.”

“I’m glad I could improve your day. You wanna tell me what happened?”

“I’m glad I got pulled in for an extra eight hours, I’ve been kicked, pelted with small objects, had to run a three person gallery all on my own, lost some breaks, been screamed at, and vomited on.”

“Holy shit that must suck.” She patted Kairi’s hand.

“It’s just… this has been a really bad day for me and your altruistic act kinda pushed me over the edge,” Kairi laughed as she wiped at her tears. She reached for a nearby napkin with some writing on it, but Yuffie snatched it away, offering Kairi a pristine one instead.

“Didn’t want the ink bleeding onto your face,” Yuffie laughed sheepishly. Her face had turned bright red. “I’m delighted I improved your day, but I am sorry I’m the highlight. Now eat your ice cream.”

Kairi laughed at that and did as she was told. Yuffie made idle banter as Kairi ate and generally did her best to make the gallery staffer laugh. Unfortunately, when she finished her ice cream it was time for Kairi to go back to work. When she stood to go back to her gallery Kairi smiled her first real smile of the day and thanked Yuffie again. The other girl just grinned.

“And hey, your day could have been worse,” Yuffie said brightly. “There wasn’t a fire or tornado today.”

Kairi’s smile vanished. “Don’t even think about that. There are still fifteen minutes left before we close.” Then she grinned again to let Yuffie know she wasn’t serious.

Luckily for Kairi the ice cream and talk had reenergized her. Even better, the rest of the night passed without incident. It took a little longer than usual to get the last of the visitors out of her gallery, but once they were gone she was able to close up quickly. She took off her radio then divested herself of the uniform. Then she changed back into her biking gear.

As expected, the ride home was bitterly cold. Winter never gracefully let go of Radiant Garden and Kairi had to peddle hard to keep from freezing solid. The one thing that kept her warm on the way home was the thought that a pretty girl bought her an ice cream. It was the one bright point in a very bad day.


	2. With Gills On

“I think I have been thoroughly desensitized to skinless penises,” Kairi mused.

“What about penises?” Sora asked, looking up from his pan.

“Skinless ones,” Riku said, “not your type. Go on, Kairi, finish your thought.”

“I spend an average of eighteen hours a week surrounded by skinless people who have been plastinated,” Kairi said. “Most of them are male with prominent genitals. I could go my whole life without seeing another skinless penis and I would be happy. Give me another week and I’ll feel the same about the vaginas.”

“Oh you don’t really mean that,” Sora said. He scooped half of the scrambled eggs in the pan onto his plate. Then he divided the remaining protein into two equal portions and dumped them onto Riku and Kairi’s respective plates before tossing the pan in the sink.

“Surely you’re enjoying some parts of your job,” Riku said.

“The pay is good. I like my coworkers. I am proud to work at the Hollow Bastion Museum of Science in part because it’ll look good on my resume,” Kairi said. “Still, we’re always short staffed and the shininess of the exhibits has worn off, even if I still like them.”

“Then I guess it’s become a real job for you,” Riku laughed.

Kairi had to grin at that. “At least there’s only been one truly terrible day, and even that mess had a bright spot.”

“Ice cream girl!” Sora said, grinning happily. Bits of egg clung to his teeth. Riku threw a napkin at him.

“Her name is Yuffie,” Kairi said primly, “and she’s become something of a regular.”

“Really?” Riku asked.

“Think she likes you?” Sora asked eagerly.

“As a friend,” Kairi said. “As much as it may surprise you, not everyone’s gay. Actually, most people aren’t.”

“And how many straight girls have bought you ice cream?”

“Two,” Kairi said smugly. “Selphie and Naminé.”

“Friends don’t count,” Sora said, waving his hands dismissively. “How many random straight girls have bought you ice cream?”

“Excluding Yuffie? Zero. The same is true for strange lesbians buying me ice cream.”

“You obviously hang out in the wrong ice cream shops,” Riku observed. Both Kairi and his boyfriend glared at him. “What? Kairi’s attractive for a woman. I agree, lesbians should be buying her ice cream.”

“The point remains that whatever Yuffie’s sexuality is she’s not interested in me,” Kairi said firmly. “She’s a guest, a very nice guest, but a guest none the less. She probably barely registers me as anything beyond a walking dispenser of information.”

“You have such a low opinion of yourself,” Sora said.

“Well, me and my low opinion have to get to work,” Kairi said, rising from the table.

As Kairi left to grab her helmet Sora felt the need to give her one last piece of advice. “You don’t have a single romantic bone in your body. So if you even get an inkling that she might be vaguely interested in you, you tap that, do you hear me, Kairi? Because you do not want this wonderful girl giving up on you because you’re too thick to notice her!” Sora probably would have continued ranting at his friend, but by that point Riku had enough and clamped a hand over the other boy’s mouth.

On the bike ride over Kairi’s train of thought naturally continued from where Sora had left it. Yuffie was a pretty cool visitor. Whenever she came through Body Worlds she always had some neat story or witty remark for Kairi. It had turned out Yuffie was also a huge fan of _Cactuar in Space_. She and Kairi had lively discussions over when (and even if) the hero, 1,000 Needle, would ever be caught and brought to justice. Yuffie was of the opinion he would eventually be caught, but escape before execution, while Kairi figured it wouldn’t even be that close.

Kairi loathed admitting it, but seeing Yuffie had rapidly become the high point of her workweek. She liked it better than chatting with her coworkers or watching Cid and Merlin fight over how best to run the theater. Friday evening in Body Worlds had become her favorite shift even though she now missed movie night with the boys and had to hang out with corpses instead of fish because she got to spend ten minutes talking with Yuffie. If she was lucky, sometimes Kairi was busy helping another guest when Yuffie moseyed through her sector. Still, on those nights it always seemed that Kairi was able to catch Yuffie a little later in a different part of the gallery for a minute or two.

Over the past six weeks Kairi had come to consider Yuffie a friend. However, she couldn’t imagine how much their friendship was costing the other girl. Tickets to Body Worlds were expensive. Weekly visits to the special exhibit must be taking their toil on Yuffie’s budget, none the less she continued to show up every Friday night to look at the plastinates. That was something Kairi admired about Yuffie; she had a real appreciation of science and the dedication to follow through on her interests no matter the cost.

So it didn’t surprise Kairi when Yuffie wandered into Body Worlds that evening. Kairi watched in pleasure from one of the dark corners of the gallery as Yuffie did her usual ‘scurry around other guests as she quickly made a full circuit of the gallery before beginning her visit.’ Kairi wasn’t certain why Yuffie always demonstrated this behavior, but she guessed it had something to do with checking to see if anything new had been added. At least, that’s what Kairi assumed since Yuffie always appeared to be looking for something. After performing her ritual Yuffie settled down to enjoy the plastinates. Unlike other repeat visitors Yuffie didn’t bring a sketchpad to draw the plastinates nor did she appear to be learning the muscles, nerves, or any other part of the anatomy. In fact, if Kairi didn’t know better she’d say the girl was just as bored with the exhibit as she was, but she was still paying to come visit. The museum had to love Yuffie.

“There’s my favorite visitor,” Kairi said upon making her approach.

“Great to see you too, Kairi,” Yuffie laughed, giving the gallery worker a toothy grin. “Have any of the bodies moved yet?”

“You’d probably notice before we did,” Kairi said. “Although the Hallow Bastion Museum of Science frowns on any suggestion that the plastinates will undergo any sort of post process movement or reanimation.”

“Don’t talk about zombies?”

“My boss encourages us to discourage that sort of talk,” Kairi said smiling.

“And you’d think this was the perfect place to talk about the fallacies of a zombie apocalypse,” Yuffie said, frowning. She crossed her arms, cocked her head to the side, and said, “Do they also discourage discourse on lycanthropy, vampirism, and extraterrestrial life?”

“Only if crop circles are involved.”

Yuffie giggled at that, which made Kairi feel immensely pleased with herself. Screw whatever Sora thought. Kairi noticed things. Kairi especially noticed things about Yuffie, which is why she feared she had developed some stalker-like tendencies in relation to this particular visitor. Mostly though, Kairi had noticed the effect Yuffie had on Kairi. The girl made Kairi’s skin tingle and her intestines tighten in anticipation. She needed to hear Yuffie’s voice, especially her laugh, and try to impress her at least once on every visit. She loved it when Yuffie praised her. The biggest clue Kairi had found—and this was the one that confirmed her self-diagnosis for Kairi—was that her previous peacefully hibernating libido had awoken in full force. Kairi knew she liked Yuffie, she just didn’t know what to do about it.

In high school Sora and Riku were busy discovering their sexuality on every vaguely horizontal surface with some semblance of privacy. Kairi, on the other hand, remained blissfully ignorant of her own interests, being more than happy to focus on her studies and help her friends out with their love lives. At sleepovers Kairi happily shrugged off any questions concerning crushes because that had always been a nonissue for her and that was okay with her friends.

It wasn’t until the end of the keydo season of her junior year that Kairi ran smack face into a crush of her own. They had just won a minor tournament and all the girls on the team were ecstatic. Kairi was the last fighter and so it was her win against a duo wielding keyblade bearer that broke the deadlock. Much to her surprise she was pulled into hug after hug by her teammates before she was even able to put her keyblade, _Destiny’s Embrace_ , back in its case. Most of the hugs just kept Kairi from catching her breath, but the one Aqua gave her was like a kick to the stomach and knocked the air out of her. In a moment of clarity Kairi realized with horror that she was, if not in love, then in very serious like, with her captain and had been so for at least a year.

She spent all of her senior year self-monitoring the amount of time she spent around Aqua and how much of that togetherness was spent with Kairi trying to hold Aqua’s attention. Her greatest fear was that Aqua would find out about the crush—not because Aqua would be disgusted by it, far from it as Aqua was cool about everything and probably would say she was flattered, but not interested—and then Kairi would have to crawl into a corner and die of shame. Riku thought Kairi’s inner need to grapple with her sexuality in order to come to terms with it was cute, which is why Riku got a black eye that winter.

By the end of high school Kairi had determined she might be a lesbian, but would wait for more data before drawing any conclusions. Scientists never leap to conclusions. By the end of college Kairi knew she was gay and she didn’t have the slightest idea how to talk to girls. Or at least flirt with girls and tell if they were flirting back. Really, she had no idea what she’d ever do if she actually ended up with a girl and they were alone… and Kairi knew softballs and uhauls fit into the equation somewhere, but she didn’t know where. Kairi was fairly certain she would have at least happily maimed, if not outright killed, for a health class that was less focused on the heterosexual majority. 

“Okay, you are not seriously spacing out on me right now,” Yuffie said.

“I’m sorry,” Kairi said. She blinked away her musings about what exactly two lesbians were supposed to do with a softball and u-haul truck. She had a vague sense a kayak was also supposed to be there. Somewhere.

“Ah come on, man,” Yuffie sighed. She gave Kairi a forlorn smile. “I can’t believe I couldn’t hold your attention for more than thirty seconds.”

“I’m really sorry, my brain has been scattered in about sixteen different directions all day,” Kairi said. “I remember we were talking about crop circles.”

“Then you missed my kick ass segue into the new season of _Better Dead Than Red_. You missed hearing about how werewolf Elvis is a hound dog.”

“You could repeat it.”

“No, the moment is past,” Yuffie said sadly, slowly shaking her head. 

“At least we’ll always have the haberdashery.”

“I knew you loved my hat,” Yuffie laughed. She had on occasion worn a fedora into the exhibit.

“I love all the clothes you wear,” Kairi blurted out.

“Thank you. Do you like the clothes or the clothes on me?”

“The clothes on you?” Kairi said, trailing off. She was confused. “I don’t… when would I see the clothes unless they’re on you?”

“I could loan you some,” Yuffie offered. “We’re more or less the same size. I think you might have a bigger chest though.”

“I don’t think we share the same style.”

“I dunno, it’s fun to mix things up once in a while. Experiment.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Kairi laughed. “Enjoy the rest of the gallery.”

“Thanks, I will,” Yuffie said. She flashed Kairi another smile and moseyed onto the next part of the exhibit.

Kairi went back to doing her job. As Jasmine and Hayner were there as they were supposed to be, the usual three-man rotation was in place. This meant that every hour on the hour the gallery staff rotated to a new section of Body Worlds. As Kairi was at the beginning of the gallery she moved to the very end of the gallery when rotation occurred. To her surprise she found Yuffie hanging out next to the blitzball players at the end of the gallery. She was in almost exactly the same spot as where they had first met.

“You’re getting through Body Worlds pretty fast these days,” Kairi said.

“Hey Kairi,” Yuffie said, looking up from the blitz players. “Want to check out the arterial rabbit with me?”

“Sure,” Kairi said, shrugging. “We’re not busy.”

They walked over to the blood bunny and carefully stared at it for a moment. This was still Kairi’s favorite piece of the exhibit. She loved how she could see the exact outline of the rabbit’s ears from just a few tiny vessels. Plus, rabbits had always been her favorite animals as a child.

“I can’t believe you’re still showing up to see Body Worlds,” Kairi said.

Yuffie flashed her a grin. “Aww, you know me, I just can’t get enough of these corrosive plastinates.” She turned back to the arterial display of a rabbit. “I guess it’s their ephemerally that draws me back every week.”

“Well I’m always delighted to see you return.” Kairi leaned in to get a better look. She could make out all the facial features and she thought she could even see where the blood fed the hair producing pores on the skin. “It’s hard to believe these are only the major blood vessels.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. That’s because there are capillaries so thin blood cells have to pass through in single file. Those blood vessels are too small for the plastic polymer to get in and preserve it.”

“I learn something new every time I visit.”

“I was wondering about that. This is your sixth visit?”

“Eighth.”

“Isn’t the cost starting to build up? Tickets aren’t cheap.”

Yuffie shrugged. “I’m a member, so the cost isn’t that expensive. I mean, it’s cheaper than going to the movies once a week. I’m here in one exhibit or another almost every day, so it’s a great deal. Totally worth an extra few bucks now and then to see this rabbit.”

“I think we might have a print of it in the store,” Kairi said, trying to remember everything she had seen in her quick run through the other day. “I like the postcards.”

“But I can’t have a conversation with a print,” Yuffie said.

“You can’t carry a conversation with the actual rabbit.”

“I know that,” Yuffie laughed. “I was referring to you. I like our conversations. Who else am I going to talk to about _Cactuar in Space_?”

Kairi laughed. “Well, I’m very flattered, but you know you don’t have to keep coming back to Body Worlds just to talk to me. I do work in other galleries.”

“Really?” Yuffie asked, eyebrows raised. “Where else?”

“I have one shift in the level two aquarium Tuesday evenings. It’s pretty dead usually.” Kairi blinked as a thought occurred. “That would be a good time to come to the museum if you just wanted to hang out. For one thing it’d be cheaper.”

“Thanks for the info, Kairi, I’ll keep that in mind,” Yuffie said. 

“We can meet by the fish,” Kairi said brightly. That could be almost anywhere as the entire gallery was covered in aquarium tanks full of fish. There was only one small section of wall without fish tanks, instead having a description of the four major types of aquatic plants.

“Alright, if I come it’ll be with gills on,” Yuffie laughed. She winked at Kairi and then strolled out of the exhibit.

Kairi’s mind reeled as she watched the woman stroll away. She was pretty certain they had been flirting, at least, that was how she imagined flirting. Kairi was wandering through foreign territory right now and she did not speak the language. This is why she decided to consult her best gay buds when she got home. They talked to more lesbians than she did. Hell, Sora was probably friends with more lesbians than Kairi had even met. So Kairi when went home she told her friends her observations.

“Riku, mark this date,” Sora said. Riku whipped out his phone. “This is the day our little Kairi starts growing up.”

“I put down ‘Kairi becomes a woman’ for the note,” Riku said. There was a pause and both boys stared at each other. Kairi threw a pillow. “I’ll change that to something else. After all, this isn’t March 21st.”

“March 21st?” Kairi asked.

“The day you realized you were interested in the same sex,” Sora said, surprised she didn’t immediately recognize the date. “Duh.”

“Do you keep track of all semi-important events in my life?”

“Of course.”

“Isn’t that what my mother’s supposed to do?”

“No way,” Sora said. “You wouldn’t tell her a fifth of this stuff.”

“We send her a list of important events in your life and general status updates on a monthly basis, but we sanitize it for her, of course,” Riku said. “We wouldn’t embarrass you too much.”

“You keep tabs on me for my mother.”

“We just let her know you’re doing okay. In exchange she pays for movie night beer.”

“And now I don’t even get to attend movie night.”

“Want to switch movie night to Saturday?” Sora asked. He had started to realize that perhaps Kairi wasn’t entirely pleased he had been documenting her life. Appeasement might be in order.

“Fuck yes,” Kairi said. “Especially if I’m indirectly buying the beer.”

“Kay, I’ve got it,” Sora said, snapping his fingers at Riku. “Kairi first woos a girl. That’s much clearer.” Riku keyed in the dictation. Even if Kairi was mad at him Sora never left any job unfinished.

“I can’t believe you’re actually noting this,” Kairi said as she placed a hand over her face.

“You’re our best friend,” Riku said. “We want you happy.”

“Not everyone finds love in the sandbox, so we’ll give you any help we can catching it,” Sora added.

“But she’s probably not even interested,” Kairi argued. “All I did was tell her I also work in the aquarium.”

“You thought she was flirting,” Sora said. “Trust your instincts!”

“I don’t have any instincts!” Kairi wailed. “I think I lost them on a train somewhere!”

“Then borrow Sora’s,” Riku said. “He doesn’t use his anyway.” That earned Riku a punch from his boyfriend. “What is this? Beat up Riku month?”

“Stop acting like a butt,” Sora said.

“But you love my butt.”

“I do,” he agreed, “but you shouldn’t take directions from it.” Sora crawled into Riku’s lap and kissed him.

“Boys,” Kairi interrupted. “What about my problem?”

“Trust Sora’s instincts,” Riku said. “If Yuffie starts showing up at your aquarium shift and stops going to Body Worlds you’ll know she’s into you and not the plastinates.”

“Thank you,” Kairi said, exasperated. The boys couldn't dispense straightforward logical advice in a timely fashion if their lives depended on it. She retreated to her room to think about her situation some more. She also hoped they would move to their bedroom before they got lost in the moment. She used that couch too.

Over the next several days Kairi tried to put Yuffie out of her mind. For the most part she was successful. After all, it would be several days before she could even possibly see Yuffie, since Kairi didn’t go to the museum again until her Tuesday shift anyway. Kairi had always been a firm believer in the out of sight out of mind policy. Still, Yuffie kept creeping back into Kairi’s consciousness like a ninja. Somehow Kairi found herself thinking about Yuffie while doing routine tasks: biking around town, doing laundry, watching cartoons with Sora, shopping, even when brushing her teeth.

She was fairly certain she was going crazy. She had always understood that people in relationships got a little screwy obsessing over their significant others. As annoying as that could be, it still made sense to Kairi. She even got most crushes, like the one she had on Aqua. That crush developed over months, possibly years, from near daily contact, effort, and the bond of teamwork. They had shared blood, sweat, tears, and keydo. While it had unnerved her, Kairi understood it. She didn’t understand her crush on Yuffie. Kairi had seen this woman maybe half a dozen occasions and had spent less time overall with Yuffie than she had the average feature film. There shouldn’t have been enough contact to form an attachment, much less a crush. Yet she seemed to have caught a possibly terminal case.

The days both dragged and flew at the same time. While every moment seemed to last forever, Tuesday afternoon came far too quickly for Kairi’s taste. She did not want to go to work today, even if this was her fun, non-Body Worlds shift. She didn’t want to go because she was pretty certain Yuffie wouldn’t be there and that would prove Kairi had become deranged borderline stalker. That was a truth she wasn’t ready to face. More than anything else Kairi wanted to just call in sick and hide under the covers.

She almost did it. At ten minutes before the last possible second she had to leave for work and still be on time Kairi gave into duty. She threw on a bra, blouse, and pair of slacks and ran out the door. She slowed momentarily to grab her helmet, slid down the banister of the apartment building, and hopped onto her bike. Kairi peddled as fast as possible and, to her surprise, arrived early enough to set a record best. Despite her worries and fear Kairi found herself creeping down the main staircase from the break room to the aquarium on level 2 ready for work.

Kairi stood on the last step before she’d be on level 2. She scanned the gallery looking to see if she could spot any black hair. There wasn’t any. In fact, there was almost no one in the gallery at all. Yuffie hadn’t come.

Kairi sighed and felt a bit depressed. Of course Yuffie hadn’t come. She was interested Body Worlds, the exhibit, not Kairi. Sure, maybe Yuffie would show up later during Kairi’s shift to say hello before going off to whatever she was actually interested in seeing at the museum, but thinking that was just false hope on Kairi’s part. She didn’t know how to read people. Yuffie was an enthusiastic extroverted woman who was nice to everyone and any special treatment toward Kairi was just the result of an overactive imagination.

She turned around, wanting to glance up to the level above before work, and nearly fell off the step. Yuffie, just two steps up, loomed over her as she grinned like a jack-o-lantern. Her smile faltered and she grabbed Kairi’s arm firmly to keep her from falling.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Yuffie apologized. “Wasn’t expecting you to whirl around like that.”

“It’s fine,” Kairi laughed upon regaining her balance. She was so relieved to see Yuffie.

“I thought I could get here first and for once catch you unaware like you usually do to me,” Yuffie said, scratching her cheek. “Guess I managed the second part a little too well.”

“Like I said, it’s okay,” Kairi repeated. She stepped backward off the step. Then she waved an arm out at the gallery. “Well, please come in.”

Yuffie hopped down the last three steps to land in the gallery. She ambled into the area, glanced around, then flopped down on a bench and glanced up at Kairi. “You coming too?”

“Course, this is my gallery for the night,” Kairi said, following Yuffie. She glanced at her watch and grinned. “However, there’s another six minutes before I have to find and relieve Aerial. Wanna hang out?”

Yuffie patted the empty space next to her. Kairi sat down right next to her. She was unable to contain her grin as she leaned back against the bench. While she tried to keep her eyes on the aquarium tank she kept stealing glances at Yuffie. Yuffie seemed pretty focused on the fish tank and didn’t look back at her once. Still, Kairi was pretty happy because even if she was turning into an obsessive stalker of a perfectly nice young woman who barely noticed her existence, that young woman was interested in more than just corpses. She also liked fish.

“Would you look at that sucker go?” Yuffie laughed, pointing at a brightly colored fish streaking across the aquarium. 

Kairi leaned forward until her shoulders brushed Yuffie’s shoulders. “That was Flounder,” Kairi began. “Which is Ariel’s name for our resident Atlantic Blue Tang. He gets into more trouble with the electric eels than all our other critters combined.”

She began to tell Yuffie all about Flounder’s epic adventures in the aquarium. As Kairi got more into her story Yuffie laughed and laughed. She seemed to hang on Kairi’s every word. When she finally finished Yuffie chuckled and tapped Kairi’s knee before leaning back and settling against the bench to rub shoulders with Kari.

“You know some great fish tales,” Yuffie declared.

“Thanks,” Kairi said.

“Unfortunately, I think it’s time for you to do your job,” Yuffie said, pointing beyond Kairi. When the redhead turned she saw Ariel waiting patiently.

“Sorry about that,” Kairi said, rising. She looked back at Yuffie. “I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Yuffie said, giving her a wave. 

Kairi grinned down at her shoes as she followed Ariel back into the office. Earlier today she would have been nervous and jittery about leaving Yuffie out there in the gallery. She would have figured Yuffie would bored or forget Kairi wanted to hang out with her for a bit. Somehow though Kairi wasn’t worried about that anymore. Kairi finally understood. It didn’t matter if Yuffie liked her back or not; they were friends and Kairi was just pleased to get the chance to spend more time with her. Hearing Yuffie said that she’d be waiting meant she’d really be there, at least until after Kairi got back from the office. Odds were good that Yuffie’d even stick around longer than that. After all, it was dead Tuesday evenings down at the aquarium.


	3. An Off Day

“You never told me about your shift last night,” Sora said.

“You guys weren’t around to tell,” Kairi said. She looked down at the jars of peanut butter in her hands. “Do we want creamy or crunchy this time?”

“Creamy. Riku can buy crunchy on his own if he really wants it,” Sora said. He pulled the creamy peanut butter out of Kairi’s hands and dropped it in the cart. “So spill on last night!”

“She came, as she said, we hung out,” Kairi said. “Seriously it was pretty great. She was there when I got to the gallery so we were able to talk for a few minutes before my shift started. Then she hung around for an hour. I wasn’t able to do too much with her because there were a ton of other people in the gallery at the time, but it was still nice having her around.”

“She was only there for an hour?” Sora sounded disappointed.

“You can only do oh so much with a fish tank and some pressed plants,” Kairi said. “But that wasn’t the interesting bit.”

“Oh?”

“She left, but then about two hours later Yuffie reappeared. I don’t know what she was doing, maybe going off to see some of the other more interesting galleries, but she came back. She then stayed with me until close when I told her she had to get out so I could go home. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun wiping off fish tanks.”

“Kairi, you do not know how to have fun,” Sora said. “Did you make a move? No, of course not. Ooh, did she?”

“No one was making moves on anyone,” Kairi said firmly. “And I’m okay with that. Really, I realized last night that I’m happy just being around her. I don’t need anything more.”

“Babe, that’s sweet, but you need to get laid,” Sora said. He began pushing the shopping cart down the aisle toward the soup.

“I do not.”

“Have you ever even had sex?”

“No.”

“Do you even know how two women do it?” Sora asked.

“Do you?” Kairi retorted.

“Dude, Kairi that’s sad. You do realize finding that sort of thing out is exactly why the Internet was invented, right?” Sora said laughing.

“The Internet was invented by a bunch of scientists who wanted a faster and more secure way to communicate. This was to further the ultimate goal of creating defense missiles in the US,” Kairi said flatly. “In no way shape or form was porn involved.”

“Well porn is why the Internet exists now,” Sora said. He cocked his head at her and gave a strange look. “You’ve really never looked any up?”

“Of course not! Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re human?”

“Porn is not essential to the human condition.”

“But sex is. It has health benefits and brings us closer together both physically and emotionally. If done right it can link two hearts into one,” Sora said, hugging himself. “Well, I mean, that’s what it’s done for me and Riku. My sleeping with him has done nothing for you and me because… well, you know… we’re not like that.”

“I know, Sora, believe me I know,” Kairi said, frowning. “You really didn’t have to place that image in my head.”

“Sorry.”

“You should be.”

“But about Yuffie, you should go for it. You sparkle when you talk about her,” Sora said. He tapped her on the chest. “Sparkly.”

“I’m not a vampire.”

“Fine, then you _glowed_ and I don’t think I’ve seen you _glow_ like that since you used to go on and on about Aqua.”

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“It was sweet. You were the puppy you always accused me of being around Riku, but with Aqua. Although I don’t think any of your teammates noticed. You didn’t gush about her in front of them.”

“Ugg,” Kairi groaned. She took her glasses off and ran a hand over her face several times. There were times when she really couldn’t stand her best friend.

“Kairi?”

Kairi whipped her head around. She couldn’t see very well, but she’d recognize that voice anywhere. She put her glasses back on and had to smile. It was Yuffie staring at her with a puzzled grin on her face.

“Hey Yuffie, what are you doing here?” Kairi asked. Sora mouthed ‘Yuffie’ and gave a silent laugh.

“Shopping, what else?” she laughed. “Which is what I figure you’re doing.”

“Yeah, Sora and I are just,” Kairi began, turning to point at Sora and then stopped. He had disappeared along with the shopping cart. She stared in disbelieve at where he had been a moment ago before saying, “he just ditched me.”

“Really? That’s uncool.”

His motives were completely obvious to Kairi. He was trying to give Kairi a little alone time with her crush, which would have been nice if he hadn’t just ditched her in the middle of shopping. He’d probably finish without her, but Sora wouldn’t pick up any of the products that were for Kairi’s unique health needs. She’d have to buy some tampons later. More pressing was the fact he was her ride home.

“I guess it’s fine if he finishes the shopping,” Kairi sighed. “We got most everything on the list. As long as he remembers toilet paper we should be okay.”

“Well that’s good to know,” Yuffie said. “Is Sora your boyfriend?”

“Oh god no,” Kairi said feeling vaguely horrified. “He and Riku, our other roommate, are like brothers to me. Plus, since they’ve been dating each other since high school I don’t fit into that equation.”

“It could be a ménage a trois,” Yuffie said brightly. “An equal partnership of three.”

“You’re not the first one to suggest that, but no,” Kairi laughed. “Their worlds revolve around each other.”

“I’m glad about that,” Yuffie said. “That means you can hang out with me instead.”

“I would love that. However, I’ve gotta warn you, if Sora really did ditch me I have no ride and you might be stuck with me longer than expected.”

“That is perfectly fine with me,” Yuffie said. “I would love to have the company. In fact, I could use your help if you don’t mind giving it.”

“Course,” Kairi said. “What can I do?”

“Grab that shopping cart,” Yuffie said pointing at a cart just behind her. “Moving two of these bad boys when they’re completely full is a pain in the ass.”

“Sure,” Kairi said. She looked down at the cart Yuffie assigned her. To her surprise it was full of cases of water and Bokoblast, a popular sport drink. “You certain you have enough liquids?”

“Probably not, actually,” Yuffie laughed. “I’ve gotta buy all this stuff for work. I don’t go through this much Bokoblast on my own. My dad outta just sign a contract with MoogleCorp, but he’s pretty stubborn. It’d probably be cheaper getting this all directly from MoogleCorp.”

“What does your dad do?” Kairi asked as she followed Yuffie toward the register.

“He runs a dojo. I work there too, actually, as an instructor,” Yuffie said. “We teach Wutain Karate. So we need all these drinks for the students. Gotta keep them hydrated.”

“Kay, that makes sense,” Kairi said. She began unloading the cases on the counter. Yuffie did the same. “There are a ton of these.”

“Yeah, that’s why I want dad to get a contract with MoogleCorp. They’d probably also deliver them, which would be a lot less hassle for me. Still, this is the way he wants things done and as long as I work for him I’m stuck doing things his way.”

After the cashier rang up their large purchase the girls reloaded the carts. Kairi followed Yuffie out to her yellow pickup truck. The karate instructor hopped into the bed of her pickup and had Kairi pass her the cases. When they got the last of the thirty twelve-packs loaded Yuffie threw a tarp over them and secured it.

“You said you needed a ride, right?” Yuffie said as she unlocked the truck. “Where to? Oh, and I promise I’m not a serial killer or anything. They all drive vans.”

“Really, don’t you think a serial killer would know they’re all supposed to drive vans and pick to drive a flashy pick up truck instead?” Kairi asked. “They’re almost as useful as vans. More useful in some ways. I have seen you spend a lot of time with corpses.”

“You spend a lot of time with them too,” Yuffie said. She clambered into her truck and turned it on to roll down the windows.

“But I’m paid to hang out with corpses. You pay for the pleasure.”

“Yeah, that’s not what I’m paying for,” Yuffie said.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, you’re paying to see the ‘Machinery of Life,’ entombed in the coils of mortal flesh,” Kairi said.

Yuffie grinned at her from across the cab. “Get in the truck,” she said. Kairi did as she was told. “Thank you,” Yuffie said. “Now was that so hard?”

“Only because you brought up serial killers.”

“I promise not to do that again today. So, where to?”

“Ah, wherever,” Kairi shrugged. “If I go home now I have to do laundry. Can I tag along for a bit longer?”

“Totally,” Yuffie said. She backed out of her parking space. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“I don’t usually. I mean, I prefer contacts,” Kairi said. “But I figured if I was just bumming around the house today doing chores with Sora I could just wear whatever. Otherwise I would have actually gotten dressed.”

Yuffie glanced over at her. “You look pretty dressed to me.”

“Ratty old jeans and a high school sweatshirt do not an outfit make.”

“And you would have worn your contacts.”

“Bingo.”

“Your glasses are cute. I like the red wire. It matches your hair.”

“Thanks,” Kairi mumbled. She felt her face heat up. She needed to change the subject before she embarrassed herself. “Where we headed?”

“Grid Middle School,” Yuffie said. “I’m still not certain how it happened, but I teach karate there after school once a week and I actually have a class in about twenty minutes. You’re not a convicted felon who’s not allowed on school grounds, are you?”

“I doubt I’d be working at the Hollow Bastion Museum of Science with children if I was,” Kairi said.

“Right. Sorry. I just wanted to check before bringing you along. I’m turning you into my pack mule to cart in some of these drinks. I promise you’ll get first dibs on drinks.”

“Why not? Pack mule still sounds better than doing my laundry.”

“Great!” Yuffie laughed.

They arrived at the middle school. Yuffie put both red and blue Bokoblast crates in Kairi’s arms, then grabbed a package of water. They headed toward the main entrance of the complex, which, upon reaching Yuffie flashed an ID badge to gain entry. Kairi figured school safety had increase significantly since she had been in middle school. Then again, she had gone to school way out in the boonies so maybe safety hadn’t been an issue. Yuffie also filled out a short sheet of paper and traded for a sticker labeled ‘Visitor.’ She slapped this on Kairi’s chest.

“If anyone asks you’re my assistant,” she said.

“From pack mule to assistant in only fifteen minutes?” Kairi wondered out loud. “When will I get my next promotion?”

“Hey, assistants are pack mules,” Yuffie said. “Besides, you could totally be my assistant. I know you’ve done some sort of martial art, you’ve got the confident cat glide. I just don’t know what kind. You could even be well versed in Wutain Karate. There are stranger coincidences.”

“You can tell I did a martial art by the way I walk?” Kairi asked, surprised.

“You can’t?” Yuffie asked, equally surprised.

“What do you think I did?” Kairi asked as she followed Yuffie down a hall.

“Well, you’re obviously not currently practicing. I can tell that just from the way you’re talking.”

“Gee wiz, that’s some powerful deducing.”

“Ah shud up,” Yuffie said, swatting at her friend. “I’m guessing leg power is important for whatever it was, since all your leg muscles are amazing, but some of that importance may be masked by the fact you bike a lot these days.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Kairi said. Keydo involved a lot of running, jumping, dodging with fancy footwork, and barrel rolls.

“How long ago did you stop practicing?”

“High school, my senior year was when I stopped competing. I mean, I wasn’t all that great, but I did practice diligently up until that point. I still do it a little, but I no longer practice regularly like I used to in part because I don’t have any place to do it.”

“How many years ago was that?”

“Five?”

Yuffie stopped in her tracks causing Kairi to nearly bump into her. She turned around and glared at Kairi. Kairi wondered what she had done wrong.

“Are you kidding me?” Yuffie demanded. “Muscle definition dissipates twice as fast as you can build it. Any clues to what exactly you studied are totally gone by now. That means all I’m seeing are your biking calves. How am I supposed to work with that? Any guesses I make are just me shooting in the dark.”

“You’re the kung fu master, not me,” Kairi said. “You figure it out.”

“I’ll work on that,” Yuffie grumped. She sighed then put a cheerful face on again. “Come on, I’m gonna introduce you to my students.”

Saying that actually made Yuffie cheerful. She seemed to almost bounce as Kairi followed her. Occasionally they passed a student or two, but they all seemed like they were on their way out of the building. Obviously the school cleared out pretty quick after hours, though it seemed like almost all the students were already where they belonged. Suddenly Yuffie stopped in front of a door. 

“Through this door are my twenty students,” Yuffie said. “Wednesdays are the only day I teach them here, but most of the kids are also in beginner or intermediate classes at the Kisaragi dojo. So be on your best behavior.”

“Of course.”

“I mean it, I’m their sensei, a symbol of respect and authority and these are tweens. Respect is hard to come by, but easily lost.”

“Yuffie, it may have been a few years, but I know how to act in this sort of setting,” Kairi said. “I promise I won’t embarrass you.”

Yuffie nodded firmly. Then she pushed open the door. Twenty students sat in five rows of four on mats. They had been chatting quietly until Yuffie appeared. Then they all snapped to attention and watched as the women walked into the classroom. It was one of the larger classrooms with all the desks pushed off to the side, allowing a group of twenty to comfortable practice karate in there. Yuffie dropped her case of water on the teacher’s desk and Kairi followed suit.

“Greetings,” Yuffie said, waving at the kids.

“Afternoon sensei,” came the chorused reply.

“Good week, eh? I expect everyone has been practicing?”

Another chorus came in the affirmative. Kairi was impressed by how well Yuffie seemed to have trained the kids. She had their respect and they seemed to like her, which was an impressive combination. Kairi started worrying that she might actually end up messing things up for Yuffie. She’d regret that.

“I’ll be able to tell if you haven’t and you’ll regret not practicing,” Yuffie continued. “Now who’s ready for our run?” All the kids let out moans and groans at that statement. Yuffie just laughed. “It’s good for you,” she said. “And if you can’t manage the teensy bit of running I make you do how could you make it through a whole bout?”

“We’d make it through by conserving our energy for the bout,” one boy called out.

“Nice try, Denzel,” Yuffie laughed. “Any other excuses?” When no one else said anything Yuffie clapped her hands twice and the kids rose to their feet. Kairi, who had been leaning against a wall, also came to attention. As the kids started filing out of the room Kairi walked over to Yuffie. The instructor turned to Kairi and said, “You don’t have to run with us. Just sit tight and we’ll be back pretty quick.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Denzel shouted. He turned back to glare at the girls. “I thought everybody had to run. No exceptions.”

“She’s not in the class,” Yuffie said.

“But she’s here,” a girl said. “That means she’s in the class, at least for the day. So she should run too.”

“Marlene,” Yuffie admonished. Someone else said Marlene was right and then they were all shouting that Kairi had to run. Yuffie seemed to pause as she stared at the children. She turned to look at Kairi.

“I can run,” Kairi said quietly. “I may not be very fast, but I can run. I should be able to keep up whatever the distance even if it’s been ages since I last ran.”

“All right, let’s go,” Yuffie said, pointing beyond the lead kid. “Two laps round the outside of the school. Let’s get the lead out.” As the kids started moving toward the nearest exit Yuffie glanced over her shoulder at Kairi. “I’m really sorry about this.”

“It’s okay,” Kairi said. Then Yuffie jogged up to the front of the group.

It wasn’t okay. While Kairi biked sixteen miles a day several times a week she hadn’t run since high school. She was fit, she had the legs and cardiovascular capacity to run, but she wasn’t ready to run. While Kairi’s chest wasn’t absurdly oversized—she didn’t have to special order bras from a website to get ones that actually fit her—they were a little too large to be comfortable while exercising. At least, they were when attempting to exercise without wearing a heavy-duty sports bra.

Kairi hadn’t planned to do anything today, much less go for her first run in years. Yes, she had put a bra on, but it was one of those frilly numbers that were mostly intended to keep her breasts in her chest region under normal activity. Even the slightest amount of up and down bouncing from a few hops or a jog or canter or run would send her breasts flying from their prison. They flew the coop before she had even gotten down the stairs to the sidewalk where the run officially started.

If you’ve never tried to run with large breasts Kairi would say you ought to count your blessings. As a person runs her body goes through an up and down motion dependent upon whether she is pushing off or landing. Unless the runner hits the exact right stride for her body her breasts’ up and down motions are not synchronized with the rest of her body. Every time Kairi pushed off the ground with her foot her breasts gave her a little punch in the chest knocking air out. Every time she landed her breasts swung up and attempted to nick her chin, although they weren’t quite large enough to manage that. To add insult to injury, every time those breasts knocked the air out of her and kept her from ever properly catching her breath they also send pain signals to her brain. Because that’s key to the beauty of those balls of fat: breasts are a complex network of mammary glands, fatty tissue, and sensitive nerve endings. Accidently twist, pinch, hit, or look a breast the wrong way and it hurts worse than slamming one’s funny bone.

None of this happened while cycling. Sure, one’s breasts might sway a little bit, but since the upper body remained relatively stationary while biking the breasts behaved. That was why Kairi liked biking. She could get places quickly, keep her legs firm, and maintain a healthy set of lungs without going through odious battles with her breasts. Cycling made sense with Kairi’s body type, running did not.

This is why Kairi was rather unhappy as she ran. She was at the back of the pack with a few girls and a pudgy boy. She could already tell at least one of the girls was developing the same problem she had and none of the group of kids around her liked exercise. Still, like her, they kept chugging on keeping track of the group of kids in front of them. They couldn’t see Yuffie or any of the other gazelles in the group, but they followed the trail. Kairi’s group, the last group, didn’t finish their run until long after the other seventeen people had recovered from their run, but they completed two laps around the entire building, which was the goal. Yuffie congratulated them for that.

The five of them doubled over for a few seconds hoping to catch their breath. Kairi felt like the stitch in her side had split open and the techniques she had learned in elementary school to deal with them weren’t worked. It sucked to get old. The entire group returned to the classroom before Kairi recovered. She was still red in the face and trying not to pant when Yuffie offered her a blue Bokoblast. She took a bottle of water instead.

“You okay?” Yuffie asked gently. The kids seemed used to getting a few minutes to rehydrate after their run and ignored them.

“I will be,” Kairi said. She snorted as she tried to contain a laugh. “I had forgotten how much running sucked.” She chugged her water.

“I’m sorry.”

“Next time we bike,” Kairi said. “I know I can do that. Hell, I might even beat you at that.”

Yuffie grinned at that. “You should have some Bokoblast. Reenergize with electrolytes.”

“I can’t stand most sport drinks,” Kairi admitted. “The only decent ones are the green and purple ones, but those are kinda rare.”

“Lime and blackberry?” Yuffie said. “You like sour stuff?”

“Yup,” Kairi said. Her face was feeling a little less hot. It was time to pull herself back together. “Do you know where the nearest bathroom is?”

Yuffie gave her directions. Kairi went into a stall in the girls’ room and put her bra back on. She applied water to her face then dried it off. When she returned to the classroom Kairi found the lesson in progress. Kairi watched as Yuffie lead her students through their drills. The woman walked in between the children gently correcting the positioning of an arm or foot as needed and praising as deserved. Even the non-athletic ones seemed to improve under her care. Yuffie had a knack for teaching, that much was obvious.

Kairi couldn’t help but smile as she watched; her crush reminded her of her first keydo lessons when she was still too small to hold a standard sized wooden keyblade. Kairi had started keydo lessons right after she moved to Destiny Islands when she was four. That was where she first met Riku and Sora. A surprisingly large amount of her life revolved around the sport.

After an hour or so Yuffie drew the class to a close. She congratulated the children on a job well done before dismissing them. As they grabbed their coats and bags Yuffie reminded them to practice. That was something Kairi was fairly certain every child would actually do. No one wanted to get left behind in Yuffie’s class. Kairi got up from her seat once the last child left. She helped Yuffie put all the desks back were they belonged and then rolled up the mats. Yuffie stored the mats in a closet while Kairi gathered up the remaining drinks. They had a little less than a case worth left.

When the girls got back into the pickup truck Yuffie offered Kairi one of her hearty grins. They were both pretty sweaty and smelled a little, but Kairi supposed Yuffie was still fully energized based on the look she was getting. While Kairi wasn’t particularly tired she felt grimy and just wanted a shower. Running really did ruin everything.

“So I teach another couple classes in a few hours, but do you want to get something to eat?” Yuffie asked. “I mean, I work most nights, which is why I couldn’t stick around all of last night, but I’m a little busier on Wednesdays since I’ve been skipping out on Fridays lately. So there isn’t a ton of time, but I know a place that sells quick tasty food. My treat?”

“How does that work?” Kairi asked. Her brain had decided it couldn’t be bothered with thinking. “Didn’t you buy last time?”

“You mean the ice cream cone?” Yuffie said in surprise. “Kairi, I told you at the time, I bought you that because I felt like it, nothing more. And that was a lucky thing too, since I’ve never had ice cream blossom into a beautiful friendship like this before, which means you don’t owe me anything. However, I would like to get you something to eat because you were a very good pack mule for me today.”

“I got demoted?”

“There has been many a bonny assistant who doubled as a pack mule,” Yuffie assured her.

“I don’t think I smell fit for human companionship,” Kairi laughed. “Really, I would love to eat you, I mean, eat with you. I think my brain is broken. Running ruins everything. But I think I need a shower.”

“Hmm,” Yuffie hummed to herself. “That might be a little more difficult. That’s one thing the truck isn’t rigged out for.”

“Can I take a rain check?” Kairi asked. 

“Course,” Yuffie said. “I’m a little disappointed, but I’ll take what I can get. Do you need to go home?”

“That would be nice.”

“Kay, I’ll need your home address,” Yuffie said. “By the way, can I ask a favor?”

“Sure,” Kairi said. “Ask away.”

“Can I get your number?” Yuffie asked. “Even though I know today wasn’t the most fun for you I enjoyed every moment of it.”

“You enjoyed making me run?” Kairi sat up. “Cause I gotta say I would have had more fun doing laundry over the running. I think you’re showing a bit of a sadistic streak, Yuf.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Yuffie laughed. “I just… I like spending time with you, Kairi, and I want to do as much of that as possible. Not just at the museum either. Okay, I’ve said my piece. Let’s get you home.”

Kairi gave Yuffie both her cell number and her address. Yuffie thanked her for the Intel and drove her home. When they got there Yuffie parked and helped Kairi out of the truck. Then Yuffie grabbed a case of Bokoblast out of the truck bed and handed it to Kairi. When the redhead protested she just laughed.

“Hey, I promised you first dibs,” Yuffie said. “You said you liked lime or blackberry and blackberry was the first one I reached so you get that.”

“You’re trying to fatten me up with food and sports drinks and then make me run until I have a coronary,” Kairi accused.

“I would never,” Yuffie insisted. “And for such a grave insult I demand you tell me your martial art.”

“Never.”

“Give me a hint?” Yuffie asked, giving Kairi her best hangdog look.

“I used a weapon,” Kairi said.

“Tons of martial arts use weapons at some point,” Yuffie whined.

“Now I already gave you a hint, but I guess I can give you another one,” Kairi sighed. “You did just give me a case of blackberry Bokoblast. My weapon was a major part of my martial art.”

“Kendo, kuydo, fencing,” Yuffie guessed eagerly.

“No, no, no.”

“Singlestick!”

“I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s a European practice where a wooden stick is used like a sword.”

“Lovely. I’ll see you later, Yuffie.”

Kairi felt the desire to lean forward and kiss the other girl. Instead she just gave her a faint wave and entered her apartment building. Yuffie waved enthusiastically back. Kairi took the elevator up to her apartment and went inside. She found Sora in the kitchen cooking something delicious. That was probably the only reason she didn’t murder him on sight. She slid onto a barstool and traded her sports drink for soup.

“You’ve been gone for a while,” Sora said. “And you kinda stink. Did you guys do something naughty?”

“We went running,” Kairi said bitterly. “With a bunch of middle schoolers who Yuffie teaches karate. I tagged along to act as a pack mule.”

“That sounds like a terrible date,” Sora frowned.

“It wasn’t a date. It was ‘Kairi’s roommate ditched her at the supermarket so Yuffie brought her along to work.’ Not at all date like.” Kairi slurped her soup. “And I wasn’t wearing a sports bra.”

“So?”

“So, it would have been better if I had gone braless! All this lacy getup did was restrict my arm movements,” Kairi snapped as she twisted the bra strap in her fingers. “I nearly knocked myself out with my breasts. Honestly, I can’t imagine how anyone with even larger ones can run at all.”

“At least something good happened, right?” Sora said, gesturing at the Bokoblast.

“Yeah, that was the booby prize Yuffie gave me for making me run,” Kairi said. There was a pause as Sora tried not to snicker. Kairi slapped her face. “I can’t speak today. Yuffie gave me that because she felt bad that her students made me run.”

“So she didn’t see your flailing boobs of fury?”

“No, she did not,” Kairi said coldly. Sora sobered up at that. He had made her angry. “And the only reason I’m not murdering you is because you’re going to run me a hot bath and then let me soak in it undisturbed for the next hour.”

Sora did as he was told. Even if his intentions were noble he had ditched Kairi without any way for her to get home. While he was gone fussing with the tub Kairi’s phone buzzed. She unlocked it to see she had a text message from an unknown number. All the text said was ‘keydo.’ She called the number back.

“It’s keydo, isn’t it,” Yuffie crowed.

“And if I said it wasn’t?” Kairi asked.

“But you’re not, are you,” Yuffie laughed. “I should of realized it sooner, you can’t stand the keyblade depictions in _Cactuar in Space_. That should have been a dead give away.”

“Congratulations, miss smarty pants,” Kairi said.

“Do I win a prize?”

“No. Is there something in particular you want?”

“Maaaybe,” Yuffie said, drawing out the word. “But it’s a secret!”

“Well, when you feel like sharing you like me know cause right now I gotta go. I want my bath while the water’s still hot.”

“Oh that sounds fun.”

“It will be. Bye Yuf,” Kairi said, hanging up before Yuffie could respond.

When Sora returned to the kitchen he found his roommate in a far better mood. “Did something good happen?” he asked.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you Yuffie asked for my number,” Kairi said shyly. She held up her phone. “And she just texted me, so I was able to call her back and I now have hers.”

“That’s fantastic news!” Sora exclaimed. He threw his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. “Ah, Kairi? I’m proud of you, but you stink.” As soon as Sora released her Kairi fled to the bathroom. She didn’t want to be there when he added this moment to his Kairi calendar.


	4. Training and a Slip

“Hey Yuf,” Kairi said after answering the phone. “To what do I owe the pleasure of talking to you on this early morning?”

“Do you want to do some keydo?” Yuffie asked. “I can come pick you up.”

“Sure,” Kairi said, sipping her coffee. “Wait, right now?”

“Umm yeah, you have work this evening and the later in the day it gets, the more crowded Auron’s place becomes.”

“Okay,” Kairi said slowly. She dropped her spoon into her half eaten bowl of cereal. “How long have I got? I mean, are you coming over right now? Are you on the way?”

“Actually,” Yuffie laughed a little nervously, “I’m parked out in front of your place. Don’t worry though; you can take your time getting ready. I can wait.”

“So you’re just planning on sitting there in your car until I come down?”

“Yep.”

“Even though I’d like to finish my breakfast and change.”

“Yep.”

“And that could take a while, you know.”

“What else am I gonna do?”

“Yuffie, get your butt up here.”

That was how, much to Kairi’s surprise, she found herself letting Yuffie into her apartment. Somehow she hadn’t been expecting to ever have the Wutian girl in her home, much less invite her in today. The thought of letting Yuffie into her place excited Kairi, at least, it did until she looked around and realized that the boys had trashed the apartment worse than a small tornado could. This was not how she wanted to introduce Yuffie to her personal life. After all, she didn’t want Yuffie getting the wrong impression of her.

Just as Kairi rose to clean up there was a knock on her door. She sighed. No chance to make a good impression now. Instead she went to the door and opened it. She was greeted with Yuffie’s smiling face and could help but give a smile in return. Yuffie was dressed to exercise.

“Hey, Kairi,” she greeted.

“Hey,” Kairi responded in kind. “Come on it, but I warn you the place is a mess. Sora and Riku had some sort of war in here last night and haven’t cleaned up yet.”

“It’s okay,” Yuffie said as she entered the apartment, brushing past Kairi. “Neither my dad or I are the most cleanly of people, so I doubt whatever mess you’ve got will even phase me.” By the time Kairi shut the door Yuffie had scanned the living room. The martial arts instructor crossed her arms, cocked her head to the side, and said, “You weren’t kidding about the war zone.”

Kairi felt her face heat. She was going to kill Riku and Sora tonight. They hadn’t even bothered rearranging the furniture or picked up any of the Nerf darts. She reached over and covertly yanked a dart off the front of the TV. The last time the boys had a Nerf war in the house they had smashed the TV. Least Kairi could do was keep them from doing that again.

“Sit wherever you like,” Kairi said, gesturing around the chaos. “I’m going to finish my breakfast.”

“Cute jammies.”

“Thanks,” Kairi said, aware her blush had deepened. The ‘jammies,’ as Yuffie put it, were a purple T-shirt and a pair of worn plaid flannel pants that once belonged to Riku. She had always liked them because they kept her feet warm, but she wouldn’t have worn them if she had known Yuffie was coming over.

Kairi set back down at the table in her spot. Yuffie slid into the spot across from her, which was Riku’s spot. As Kairi resumed her meal Yuffie leaned forward on the table resting her chin on her fists. Kairi felt like she was under a microscope. She ate a spoonful and suppressed a grimace. Her cereal was getting too soggy for her liking. She decided to eat faster.

“You don’t have to bolt your food,” Yuffie admonished gently. “We’re not in any rush.”

“Cereal’s going bad,” Kairi said between gulps. “Do you want anything to eat?”

Yuffie shook her head. “I ate after my run,” she said. “I also figured we could eat after some sparring. Maybe Mexican? I like Mexican.” Kairi had to smile at that.

Yuffie continued to babble about various foods as Kairi finished her meal. When she was done Kairi rinsed out her bowl and retreated to the bathroom. She took a quick shower and changed into some old exercise clothes she had. Then she headed back to the kitchen. To her surprise she found Sora sitting next to Yuffie chattering away. When they saw her Sora waved.

“You didn’t tell me Yuffie was coming,” he said.

“I didn’t know,” Kairi said. “Is Riku still here?”

Sora shook his head. “Early work thing.” He turned to Yuffie and said, “Riku’s my boyfriend and our other roomie. Kairi doesn’t have one though. I don’t think she’s ever had one. You ever dated anyone, Kairi?”

Kairi wanted to slap her hands to her face. Sora damn well knew about Kairi’s relationship history. He just wanted her to tell Yuffie she had briefly had a girlfriend, but was currently available. There was no way she was saying any of that to her crush. That was just asking for trouble.

Yuffie seemed to sense Kairi’s discomfort. She rose from the table then turned to Sora and said, “It was great meeting you, Sora, but Kairi and I gotta go if we want enough time to practice.” She looked over at Kairi and asked, “You got your keyblade?”

“Yeah, give me a sec,” Kairi said. She ran back into her room and grabbed the case. Shaking it slightly she heard the familiar rattle of the weapon properly secured. Kairi ran back to her friend allowing the girls to go to Yuffie’s truck together. Once inside Kairi thanked her for getting them out of the apartment quickly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yuffie laughed. She started the truck. “I mean, we gotta get going anyway, so why not cut out if Sora was starting to get on your nerves?”

Kairi couldn’t argue with that logic even if she had wanted to, which she did not. Instead, she sat back, relaxed, and let Yuffie drive. They had a short conversation about keydo. Kairi learned that while Yuffie did not actively participate in keydo, Auron was a family friend and had extended the offer to teach her keydo when she was first large enough to hold a keyblade. In exchange Kairi told her about how she started keydo in middle school and had reached an intermediate understanding of the sport before it became simply a hobby in college. She kept her details succinct.

Yuffie pulled into a parking lot beside a large building. It had to be at lest four stories tall and seemed to cover an entire city block. The ground floor appeared to be made of retail stores. Kairi could see an ice cream shop and a shoe store from her location. Yuffie got out of the truck and grabbed Kairi’s keyblade case. Kairi followed her.

“Auron’s gym is the whole second floor. Most of that is just a big open space for training drills and sparring, but there’s also some weight lifting gear and a storage locker,” Yuffie said. She led Kairi into a narrow staircase and through an imposing hallway. “Dude owns the building, so he turned the tiniest apartment on the third floor into a break-slash-locker room. It’s not the greatest set up, but better than having no place to clean up in after a few bouts, right?”

“And who says you’re having any bouts here, brat?” demanded a gruff voice. Kairi realized the voice belonged to an older man who was doing practice swings with something that appeared to be the love-child of a katana and a claymore.

“I thought you said Auron taught keydo,” Kairi whispered. “What’s he doing with a zanbatō?”

“Practicing,” Yuffie said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. At Kairi’s glare she grinned and added, “Auron teaches keydo and is a keyblade master, but his true passion is his zanbatō. He just doesn’t teach people how to use it since most people can’t even pick up a sword that size.”

“Of the ones who do most dislocate their shoulders trying to swing it,” Auron said. He carefully set his sword on the floor. “Now what do you girls want?”

“Practice keydo!” Yuffie said, flailing her arms. Kairi’s keyblade rattled in its case. Kairi yanked the case out of Yuffie’s hand and pressed it to her chest. A keyblade may be a mostly blunt object used to bludgeon others, but it still deserved respect.

“We’re closed,” Auron snapped.

“Don’t be like that, McGruff,” Yuffie laughed. She poked him in the ribs with her elbow. “Just last month you said to the old man, ‘Kisaragi, your kid has got to learn keydo. That’ll teach her discipline.’ Not that I really need any more discipline, but you’ve told me over and over that I can come learn any day any time.”

“Fine,” Auron said. He flicked a thumb behind him. “Go find a proper blade. You should know how to do that. Do you need one?” The last question was directed at Kairi.

She shook her head and hefted her case. “I brought my own, sir,” Kairi said. He nodded at that. Auron walked back to his own weapon, picked it up, and stowed it in a case of its own.

Since it appeared they were going to be practicing Kairi decided she needed to prepare. She pulled out her keyblade and lightly ran her fingers over the teeth then down the shaft to the hilt. This was to check for any chips or cracks she may have previously missed. Kairi gripped the handle in both hands and twisted her hands in opposing directions to test the binding. It was a little loose, so she pulled it off, then tightly wrapped it around the handle before securing it. If the binding was too loose Kairi could have lost her grip on her keyblade during a fight. Slippage—where a keyblade twists in the wielder’s hands unexpectedly and leads to misplaced blows—was never fun, but at least it was less embarrassing than losing her grip on the weapon entirely. In Kairi’s experience most disarmaments in keydo were a direct result of improper binding. 

Feeling that her weapon was in proper shape Kairi took a couple swings to make certain she was ready to wield it. _Destiny’s Embrace_ cut through the air with a high-pitched whistle. The weight in her hand was good and she felt the correct amount of stress in her elbow and shoulder, the way she usually did when swinging a keyblade. Stretching would probably be a good idea, but Kairi was feeling limber enough to skip it. She had forgotten how great it felt to wield a keyblade.

“Good,” Auron said. Kairi looked up at him. “You look like you actually know how to use a keyblade.”

“I found one,” Yuffie said, running back into the room carrying a _Kingdom Key_. “The weight and length on this one are decent, but why do you have to have like twenty models of the same key?”

“The _Kingdom Key_ is the quintessential keyblade,” Kairi said. “Besides being cheap to produce, they’re easy to learn with and even accomplished keyblade masters will use them. Sora uses a _Kingdom Key_ and actually won in nationals during senior year with it and an _Ultima Weapon_.”

“Oh,” Yuffie said, looking at her keyblade with respect. She grinned up at Kairi and burst out laughing. “What the hell is that?” she asked, pointing at the redhead’s keyblade.

“Shut up, it was a birthday present,” Kairi said, feeling her face grow hot. Even after all these years her keyblade was still a sensitive subject. “My dad got me _Destiny’s Embrace_ when I turned fourteen because he thought I’d like the flowers. It’s still a decent keyblade and I see no reason not to use it since my reach hasn’t changed.”

“Got it, got it,” Yuffie said. She waved her hands in front of her in a position that normally suggested defensiveness, however, as she currently held a keyblade it was more like she was taunting Kairi to attack.

“Knock it off, Yuf,” Kairi said, rolling her eyes. “Rule one is don’t wave a keyblade haphazardly. Different movements mean different things and if we don’t break you of spasmodic movement now you’ll accidently piss off a lot of keyblade bearers.”

Yuffie promptly lowered her weapon. She gave Kairi a sheepish grin that Kairi couldn’t help but return. After all, it wasn’t like she was mad with the other girl. Kairi lifted her keyblade and gave Auron a small salute. She figured he could take over whatever lesson or spar plan was going to happen. After all, he was an instructor and Kairi wasn’t entirely certain what she could do with a ‘student’ who didn’t even know how to hold a keyblade at rest.

Auron quickly executed a series of quick motions that he ordered Yuffie to copy. They were the first moves a keyblade wielder was expected to learn. If Yuffie was serious about keydo she would have to repeat those movements until she could do them in her sleep. Kairi watched Yuffie to make certain her movements were as crisp and precise as they ought to be. While she was pleased Yuffie was starting her favorite sport, Kairi couldn’t help but be a touch disappointed she wouldn’t get a little practice of her own. It had been far too long since she had sparred. The last dozen or so times she had sparred it had been against Riku or Sora. Those sessions usually just turned into them kicking her ass.

“Are you prepared?” Auron asked. Kairi’s head whipped around to focus on him. She hadn’t been expecting his attention. “Well?” he growled.

“Me?” Kairi asked in disbelief. At his stare she hefted her keyblade, dropped into a crouch, swallowed, and then nodded.

He lifted a heavy looking red keyblade off his shoulder and held it in front of him with a single arm. Kairi wasn’t certain where the _Guardian Soul_ had appeared from, but she didn’t doubt that if he hit her solidly with that keyblade he could knock her out. While keyblade wielders normally used two arms to wield their weapons—dual wielders sacrificed strength for speed using lighter keyblades—anyone who could swing a zanbatō around was fast and deadly.

“Come at me,” Auron said, “I won’t attack until you can break my guard.”

Kairi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She reaffirmed her two handed grip on her keyblade and charged. She swung at his head from the right rapidly followed by a swing from the left. A thrust to the stomach followed by a quick jab at the jaw. She spun round to deliver a blow to Auron’s right shoulder, hacked at a leg on the same side, and then suddenly slashed down on his crown. Auron blocked every move single handedly without even moving his shoulder.

Kairi hopped back a few steps to regain her focus. Direct attacks didn’t seem to faze him; their respective skill levels were too different. She’d have to use her head. That was fine with Kairi. She prided herself on being able to keep her cool under pressure. She circled round Auron looking for openings. If they had been equals Auron would have rotated with her as if they were tidally locked. Instead he just stood there in the basic attack stance of a keyblade wielder allowing Kairi to go wherever she pleased. When she was directly behind him she paused.

There weren’t any openings as far as she could tell, but she still had to try. In one smooth motion Kairi lunged forward attacking at the small of his back. She covered ten feet almost instantaneously, but her teeth still hit the flat of his keyblade.

“Did you think that would work?” Auron asked. Kairi withdrew, allowing the master to lift his keyblade over his head and resume the standard position.

“No, but I’d be a fool not to try,” Kairi said lightly. Her pride stung a little over the fact he was able to block her attack effortlessly. She hadn’t realized her skills were so deteriorated.

“You should try spinning your keyblade like a windmill. Daze and confuse him,” Yuffie called out.

Kairi glanced over at her to see Yuffie had abandoned her practicing to watch the spar. While the karate instructor was correct in that there was a windmill technique in keydo, it was a high-level move requiring massive strength and flexibility of the upper body along with quick footwork. The move needed extensive practice and Kairi had never learned it, much less tried it.

“I don’t think you understand how difficult that move is,” she said.

“Then try Ars Arcanum,” Yuffie suggested. That was the most famous technique and arguably one of the most difficult. While Sora had mastered it, Kairi had not.

She decided to attack with a move she did know. After backing up a little she kicked the ground and charged him, slashing only once as she flew by. Once she was out of his range she kicked the floor, twisted round, and dashed at him again from a different angle to strike at a different place. This pattern repeated six or seven times with Kairi bouncing off walls to increase her speed. Sonic Blade was a strong attack pattern Kairi had turned into her specialty, but that didn’t matter, as she still couldn’t break his guard.

“That was impressive,” Auron said. Kairi glared at him as she tried to catch her breath. She couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.

“Ooo, you should hurl your keyblade at him,” Yuffie suggested. “Like a boomerang!”

Kairi rolled her eyes. Strike Raid was the only move she could think of that involved keyblade throwing, but only dual wielders used it. After all, one did not disarm herself by throwing her only weapon at her opponent. Unlike boomerangs, keyblades did not come back. At least Kairi now knew where Yuffie was getting her material, the Kingdom Hearts movies.

Kairi marched straight up to Auron. If he really wasn’t going to attack she had best use that to her advantage. Dropping her guard she switched to an all out attack stance and rained blows down on the keyblade master. She poked and prodded his defenses looking for any hole she could ram the crown of her keyblade into to blast him apart. Soon she focused on his lower half, attacking his legs, belly, and ribs. She knew that he knew she was only focusing there to draw attention away from his head. They both knew she’d pull a full assault on his face, but the question was when. If she timed it right she’d surprise him and bypass his guard for a few hits.

Auron deftly warded off her onslaught using only wrist flicks to manipulate his keyblade. While Kairi had always known she was no expert or master of the sport, it was a humiliating experience to have everything she tried shut down completely as the girl she liked shouted terrible advice as a form of encouragement.

Sensing she wouldn’t be able to get any more of his attention distracted Kairi decided to strike. She smashed her keyblade down where his left thigh should be and even before her teeth stopped rattling from the reverberation against _Guardian Soul_ she leapt to drive _Destiny’s Embrace_ into Auron’s skull. If she couldn’t get him with a Quick Blitz, she didn’t have anything that could touch him.

Her keyblade slammed into his. Time seemed to freeze for a moment as Kairi stared down into his upturned eyes. In one slow smooth motion Auron pushed Kairi’s keyblade into her chest. The next moment she landed sharply on her rear three feet away.

“Nice try,” Auron said. “Got anything else?”

Kairi slowly rose to her feet. She still had her keyblade in hand. That meant she hadn’t lost yet, but she’d be damned if she knew what to do. The worst thing about it was that if she hadn’t stopped practicing five years ago she probably wouldn’t look so stupid in front of Yuffie.

“Shoot a fireball at him,” Yuffie yelled, “or maybe you could spin it one handed and summon a hurricane like Ventus did in _Birth by Sleep_!”

“Ventus doesn’t summon any hurricane in _Birth by Sleep_!” Kairi snapped. While Yuffie was only trying to help, she couldn’t actually summon fireballs or pierce opponents with icicles. Real keydo was nothing like the movies. There was only oh so much nonsense Kairi could take before her patience broke. Especially when Yuffie began mixing up different events within her crazy fake stories.

Apparently Auron had the same breaking point. He turned and snarled at Yuffie, “Real keydo doesn’t have any of that shit.” All of his attention was focused on chewing out Yuffie. In a moment of clarity Kairi realized Yuffie had given her a golden opportunity.

Kairi did something that was normally a stupid move in keydo. She hurled her keyblade right at Auron’s head. He caught the movement out of the corner of his eye just in time to raise his own keyblade in defense. _Guardian Soul_ caught the spinning _Destiny’s Embrace_ by the teeth, but was unable to keep the handle of Kairi’s keyblade from smacking Auron in the back of his head. The keyblade fell to the ground with a clatter. Kairi scurried forward to retrieve her weapon, but Auron’s boot was already on it. He pointed his keyblade at her chest.

“That wasn’t a smart move,” he said.

“No it wasn’t,” Kairi agreed, “but none of my other moves were working so I thought I’d try something different. Was I wrong?”

Auron shook his head. He leaned down and picked up Kairi’s keyblade. Then he offered it to hr handle first. “I expect you here by dusk every Monday until I say otherwise,” Auron said. “Is that understood?”

“Yes,” Kairi said as she accepted her keyblade. 

They left shortly after that. Then they got burritos because Yuffie was craving Mexican and paying for lunch. Since it was later than expected they agreed to eat their lunch at the Hallow Bastion Museum of Science so that Kairi wouldn’t be late to work. It was a very nice day for early spring, so the girls decided to eat on an outside bench by the museum. It was a nice bench, right by the cliff edge with a view of the waterways and the Great Maw. Most of the museum was built into the cliff face, which befuddled guests about their location within the museum. No one ever expected the building’s main entrance to be on level 5. While Kairi could understand the confusion, she thought it was better than labeling most of the floors as basement levels, especially since those usually inverted their numbering system. That would just be a giant mess.

“Ya know, I think you impressed him,” Yuffie said. A few bits of rice flew from her mouth as she talked. “Auron’s even more difficult to impress than my old man and I had to work my ass off to get him to let me teach.”

“The only reason I was able to hit him was because you pissed him off,” Kairi said. “The move itself was an absolutely stupid one, which is why I lost right after that.”

“But you hit him, which is what your goal really was,” Yuffie pointed out. “You weren’t trying to win, just hit him. Which you managed, which means you won after all. You were really good, Kairi. I do not believe you’re five years outta practice.”

“Stop it,” Kairi mumbled. She was blushing. “I’m totally out of shape. I wasn’t planning on giving up my Monday nights to keydo for the foreseeable future, but that’s probably for the best. I’d rather not suffer another embarrassment like this morning again.”

“You were great,” Yuffie said. She squeezed Kairi’s shoulder. “I was completely impressed.”

“Then you’re easier to please than I thought,” Kairi laughed. They grinned at each other for a moment. Kairi considered how badly Yuffie would react if she kissed her right now.

“That’s me, easy to please Yuffie,” the Asian girl laughed. “I’m pretty much up for whatever. I can roll with any flow and still be the life of the party.”

“I think I love that fact about you,” Kairi said. “You’re an amazing person and I’ve come to enjoy my life a lot more since you came into it. You make life more exciting.”

“Aww, shucks, go on,” Yuffie laughed. “You keep that up and I’ll get embarrassed. I definitely like hearing you praise me, even if I’ll start blushing if you keep it up.”

Kairi smiled, refocusing her attention on her burrito. They ate in silence for a bit. Yuffie finished her meal around the time Kairi had hit her halfway point. Yuffie got up and strolled around the bench. She then walked over to the safety railing and looked over. She gave a low whistle then turned to look at Kairi.

“That’s quite a drop,” Yuffie said, pointing down. “I would not want to fall that far.”

“I don’t think anyone would,” Kairi said. She was fairly certain Yuffie was just trying to fill the silence. Still, she always liked listening to the other girl and was more than happy to hear whatever topic Yuffie wanted to spout off. “You aren’t planning on doing anything that might make you fall, are you, Yuf?”

“Naw,” Yuffie laughed. “It’s just I have a habit of fall off or down things. I’m surprisingly clumsy for all my mad ninja skills.”

“I’m surprised you’re so calm admitting any faults you might have.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything,” Yuffie laughed. “I’m pretty comfortable with my faults cause I’m comfortable with who and what I am. Not everyone can say they’re totally at peace in their own skin.”

“I certainly can’t,” Kairi said as she continued to watch Yuffie. “I am very not at peace in my own head. Lots of conflict and confusion.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Yuffie asked.

“Maybe,” Kairi said, smiling at her fondly. “I wouldn’t worry about it though. Most of it’s just nervous uncertainty over a decision I’ve got to make and while I appreciate the offer of help, I’ve got to decide whether to act or not on my own.”

“If I might make a suggestion, I’ve always found it better to act,” Yuffie said. “I’ve never regretted my actions half as much as when I didn’t act. If nothing else, making a choice will get rid of the butterflies in your stomach. Personally, I hate that uncertainty.”

“You know, I really hate how inaccurate that phrase is,” Kairi mused. “Most people don’t realize that the stomach is smaller and higher in the body than where they supposedly get butterflies. That butterfly feeling is actually the blood draining from your intestines because the fight or flight response is kicking in.”

“Fine, I hate having butterflies in my gut,” Yuffie teased. Kairi stuck her tongue out at her. Yuffie snapped her teeth together as if she was planning to bite it. This set both girls off laughing. Unfortunately, Kairi was out of time.

“Aww, I’ve gotta go clock in for work,” Kairi sighed. She stood up and stretched. “Let me grab my keyblade out of your truck before you go.”

“You could just leave it there until this evening,” Yuffie said. “I mean, you don’t have your bike, so I thought I’d give you a ride home.”

“You’ve still got to teach tonight and I don’t want to drag you out again,” Kairi said. “The boys can do it easily enough and they owe me for the mess they made at home.”

“Hey, I dragged you out this morning and I can easily take you home at the end of the night. It wouldn’t be a problem in the slightest. I want to,” Yuffie said. She touched Kairi’s arm. “Please?”

“Okay,” Kairi laughed. “If you want to go to the effort I’ll happy let you. My shift ends at—”

“9:30 when the museum closes, I know,” Yuffie laughed. She followed Kairi into the museum. When Kairi gave her a questioning look Yuffie just shrugged and grinned. “I’ve got another half hour to kill before I need to go. Thought I’d stay here bothering you.”

Kairi ran down an employee staircase to the break room and clocked in. She pulled on her uniform and came back upstairs to join Yuffie in the lobby. She probably couldn’t spend any more time with Yuffie than just walking to the entrance of Body Worlds; nonetheless she’d enjoy the extra time. When Kairi met up with Yuffie she found the karate instructor staring at a poster about next week’s Museum Meet-Up.

“You ever been to one of these?” Yuffie asked, jerking her thumb at the poster. Museum Meet-Ups were quarterly events where HBMS closed early to the general public and then reopened in the evening for a 21+ crowd. Alcohol was prevalent and there was usually a theme to these events.

“No, but I do get a couple free tickets to it. I had been planning on giving mine to Sora and Riku,” Kairi said. As they walked into the exhibit space a thought occurred to her and she mentally kicked herself for not thinking of it sooner. “However, considering the fact they trashed our apartment I’m not feeling particularly charitable right now. Would you like to go with me? It’s a week from Saturday and they’re supposed to be really fun.”

Yuffie stopped moving and turned to look at her. “Seriously?”

“Well, yeah,” Kairi said nervously. She knew she was asking Yuffie out, but she didn’t know if Yuffie knew she was asking Yuffie out. It wasn’t a date unless they both knew it was a date. “It doesn’t inconvenience me in any way and I can’t imagine anyone I would rather go with to this shindig.”

“Then it’s a date,” Yuffie laughed. She hopped backwards a step. Kairi stepped forward reaching for the other girl as she called her name. Yuffie was at the top of a flight of stairs seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. Before Kairi could do anything else Yuffie took another step backwards as she began turning around. Unfortunately, her foot met air instead of ground and Yuffie tumbled down backwards.

“Yuffie!” Kairi shouted, rushing to the top of the stairs.

Yuffie slid down the stairs banging her head against most of the steps. She only stopped when she reached the landing and bumped into the protective railing. She wasn’t moving. Kairi ran down the steps to the other girl’s side. She radioed in a medical emergency and just hovered uncertainly by Yuffie’s side. She knew she wasn’t supposed to touch her, but the only reason Kairi actually abided that policy was because she knew nothing about first aid and would probably just make the situation worse.

Alice blocked off the top of the stairs to keep other visitors from coming down and stepping on the injured girl. Vivi did the same at the bottom as the stairs spilled out into his gallery. Cloud and Paine showed up shortly with a bag of medical supplies. Paine suggested Kairi head onto her gallery, but she declined. She watched as Cloud checked Yuffie’s pupils and gently felt her neck. Yuffie opened her eyes midway through this process. She tried to sit up, but Cloud stopped her and told her to stay put. Instead he gently rolled Yuffie onto her side and felt along her spine. There were a few cuts on her head, which Cloud carefully covered over with bandages. When he had finished she looked like a half assed attempt at a Halloween mummy. He continued his check for another minute or two after that before backing away.

“Is she okay, Cloud?” Kairi asked. She kneeled down next to Yuffie, who was awake, but pretty out of it.

“She’s not in immediate life threatening danger,” Cloud said, “but it looks like she has a concussion. Perhaps I’m wrong, but after a fall like the one you described she needs to see a doctor.” He bent down beside Yuffie again. “Do you need me to call you an ambulance?” Yuffie didn’t respond.

“Yuffie,” Kairi said. That got Yuffie’s attention. “You fell down a flight of stairs. Do you want us to call an ambulance?”

“Oh no, no that’s normal,” Yuffie said. She started to laugh, but then moaned.

“Cloud says you have a concussion. You need to visit a doctor.”

“Alright, I’ll go find one, Kairi,” Yuffie said smiling dazedly. “You have really pretty eyes.”

“I’m not letting you leave on your own,” Kairi said. “You can either leave by ambulance or you can have a friend take you home.”

“I want you to take me home,” Yuffie giggled. She started to sing, “I know who I want to take me home, take me hooommeee.”

“If we can’t find someone soon I’m calling an ambulance,” Cloud said.

“I can’t take you anywhere. Can we call someone?” Kairi asked. She held her hand up to her face like a phone. Yuffie’s face brightened. She dug a Smartphone out of her pocket and handed it over to Kairi.

“Call Tifa,” Yuffie said.

Kairi flipped through the phone until she found the list of contacts. She flipped through until she found a Tifa Lockheart and dialed the cell number. Kairi frowned as she stared down at the picture the phone displayed as it attempted to connect. The picture showed Yuffie hugging a gorgeous brunette woman with a massive chest. On the fourth ring someone answered. As Yuffie didn’t appear up for talking Kairi figured she’d best explain.

“Ah hi, this is Kairi from the Hollow Bastion Museum of Science calling on behalf of Yuffie,” Kairi rattled off.

“Yes, what’s wrong?” the woman, presumably Tifa, said.

“She had a little accident and we hope you can come retrieve her,” Kairi said, looking to Cloud for guidance. He nodded in encouragement, mouthing the word ‘doctor.’ Kairi nodded back, understanding, “We also strongly encourage you take her to a doctor as we believe she may need one.”

“Let me talk to Yuffie.”

Kairi handed the phone over to Yuffie. She put it to her ear and listened for a minute. “I’m okie-dokie Tify,” Yuffie laughed. She slurred her words a little. “I’ve got Kairi here. Nooo, I don’t need that at tall.” She paused for a moment then handed the phone back to Kairi.

“I’m on the way,” Tifa said. “I’ll be there within fifteen minutes.” She hung up. 

She relayed the information to Cloud and Paine. At that point she figured she needed to get to her gallery. She was already late for her shift and had heard on the radio that Jasmine was getting impatient for her to show up. However, when she tried to leave Yuffie freaked out, clambered to her feet, and nearly fell down the other half of the staircase in her rush to keep Kairi there. Cloud thought it best to have Kairi stay while Paine left to relieve Jasmine.

Since Yuffie seemed able bodied—possible brain trauma notwithstanding,--they decided to get her off the stairs so that custodial could clean up the blood. Yuffie had gotten a few nasty looking cuts on the back of her head and had left a lot of blood on the main staircase. Visitors wouldn’t be able to use it until it was cleaned for health reasons. The back of her shirt was now speckled with blood, but at least Yuffie’s pants looked okay.

When they got off the stairs Yuffie insisted she needed a sit. Cloud agreed and set off to fetch a wheelchair, leaving Yuffie and Kairi on a nearby bench. Yuffie looked like she wanted to go to sleep, so Kairi just started talking to her about anything and everything that came to mind. She wanted to keep those miss-sized pupils focused on her and not shutting. Concussion victims weren’t supposed to sleep right after the accident.

Almost immediately Kairi ran out of interesting things to say, so instead she told Yuffie about herself. She told Yuffie about her adventures on Destiny Islands with Sora and Riku and their coordinated move to Radiant Garden for school. She wasn’t certain how much of her stories were penetrating Yuffie’s skull, but the girl seemed to be interested in staring at Kairi’s lips, so she’d accept that as enough attention. At least she wasn’t asleep. Kairi continued to talk.

A woman showed up with Cloud. Kairi recognized her as Tifa from the photo. While she had been pretty in the photo, her real beauty shone through her movements. Every movement was confident and precise. She was also obviously a martial artist and probably skilled. In comparison to Kairi, Tifa was taller and carried a larger bosom. As soon as she saw her Kairi felt those butterflies in the gut start fluttering; she was no match for Tifa in any way.

“Yuffie?” Tifa asked, kneeling down next to the injured girl.

“Big Boobs!” Yuffie greeted her friend as and she flung her arms around her. Tifa rubbed Yuffie’s back and sighed.

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that,” Tifa sighed. “You’re really out of it. We’re going to see a doctor right now.”

“Dr. Gainsborough, huh, huh,” Yuffie laughed as she poked Tifa in the side. She kissed Tifa’s cheek and said. “We love her.”

“Yes, yes,” Tifa laughed. She lifted Yuffie up and dumped her into a wheelchair. “We’ll go see Aerith and get you all patched up. You just be careful.”

Tifa thanked Kairi and Cloud for their assistance and slowly wheeled Yuffie toward the elevator. Yuffie happily waved goodbye to Kairi. As Kairi waved back she felt her heart crack. While it was all very well and good to find out your crush was also a lesbian, it really sucked to find out she was already in a relationship with a girl. Especially when Kairi was certain she couldn’t compete with that girl on any level.


	5. Burning Questions

Kairi couldn’t tear her eyes off the lesbian couple. Well, Kairi wasn’t entirely certain they were a lesbian couple. She hadn’t walked up and asked them or anything. However, she had been watching the girls for most of her break and based on careful observation she assumed they were dating lesbians. Or maybe Kairi was just obsessed with lesbians. She couldn’t rule that possibility out.

While they hadn’t kissed or entangled themselves to the point observers couldn’t tell the girls apart, Kairi did see signs of a relationship. The girls had briefly held hands several times and they stood very close together. The tall brunette would sometimes lean on the albino girl’s shoulder, quietly whispering in her ear. The albino girl’s actions were the most impressive to Kairi though. Every now and then as the girls continued to walk about looking at the weather observation equipment the albino girl would hook her index finger into the back pocket of the brunette’s jeans. She made it look like the most natural thing in the world, just catching her girlfriend when she got more than a few feet away with a single finger to remind her that ‘I’m still here with you.’ It was a way to touch and be close in public without flaunting it and making others uncomfortable or causing a scene.

Kairi thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. Or at least the most amazing thing she had seen all day. At the same time it made her sad. She was fairly certain most people did not spend their lunch breaks hiding behind a potted plant watching two women show the barest hint of affection for one another. At least Kairi was also eating her lunch, so she had an excuse if anyone caught her. She wished she could have a relationship like that with Yuffie.

It had been a week since Yuffie fell down the stairs. Kairi had left her a voicemail wishing Yuffie a speedy recovery and then broke off all contact with the martial arts instructor. It wasn’t Yuffie’s fault Kairi had developed a crush on her, nor could Kairi blame her for having a girlfriend who outclassed the redhead in every way imaginable. None of her rationalizations made the hurt lessen, which is why Kairi was taking a break from Yuffie. She needed time to mourn her lost opportunity. Kairi had really liked Yuffie. 

Mourning mostly consisted of her mood rocketing from mopey to manic often enough that Riku wondered out loud if she was bi-polar and eating copious amounts of ice cream in the privacy of her room. At his suggestion Sora hit Riku over the head with a spoon and hissed at him not to poke the wounded animal. While being treated like a wild beast was vaguely irritating, Kairi found herself unmotivated to complain. He was right; she was acting like she had suffered a mortal blow from Yuffie’s hand when all she had done was interact with her girlfriend.

_‘She’s probably super busy with Tifa and hasn’t even noticed my absence,’_ Kairi thought glumly.

Kairi slapped her cheeks with both hands. She used her thumbs to force her lips into a smile the way Sora did whenever he was sad. That thought brought a true smile to her face. It didn’t matter whether or not Yuffie had a girlfriend, Kairi had better things to do than mope over things she had no control. She was done with this. Kairi gathered up her lunch remains and bustled off to clock back in so that she could return to her post in Body Worlds. 

For the rest of the day Kairi did her best to ignore looking at women in her gallery. She was still pleasant and professional, but she did her best to make her eyes slide past people. She didn’t want to stalk anyone else today. At one point she thought she saw Yuffie, but Kairi scampered into the office and hid out for the rest of the night. She wasn’t ready to face her yet.

Kairi couldn’t wait to get over herself and be able to treat Yuffie like a regular old friend. Maybe even meet her head on with a smile. Apparently, neither could the boys because, while they let her hide out in her cave of a room plied with treats and sappy movies Friday evening, the next night they took action. Starting early Saturday afternoon, long before she even remembered that the Museum Meet-Up was that evening, Sora forced Kairi out of bed and into the shower. He carefully dressed and fixed her hair before pushing her out the apartment door. On the other side Riku hustled her out of the building and into his car.

“I hope you realize you’re an absolute loony,” Riku said. 

“Probably,” Kairi agreed, “but why are you bringing that up now?”

“Your recent actions have become more mind boggling than usual.” Kairi just glared out the passenger window. Riku was being overly dramatic as usual. “Seriously, you can’t keep avoiding her. I mean, you promised to take her to this jamboree. You’ve got the tickets!”

“You could meet up with her and give her the tickets for me,” Kairi suggested hopefully.

“Hey, in this household we don’t believe in turning tail and fleeing. If you’re half the woman I know you are you’re gonna meet up with her and have a great time tonight. Face your gal, Kairi!”

“She’s not my gal! She’s already got a girlfriend!” Kairi snapped, waving her hands at him.

“At least you know she’s a lesbian,” Riku said. He carefully focused his full attention on the road. Kairi sulkily ran a finger up and down her seatbelt. She could feel the suggestion he wasn’t vocalizing.

“I would never intentionally mess with any of Yuffie’s relationships,” Kairi mumbled. “That’s not cool.” Riku nodded.

“Doesn’t she still have your keyblade?” he asked.

“It’s really old and beat up. I’ve been meaning to replace it for a couple years now. She can keep it!”

“You’re being absurd.”

“I know,” Kairi said, burying her face in her hands.

“Do you act this way in front of Yuffie?”

“I’m a dink in front of her, not a coward.”

“You’re always a dink,” Riku laughed.

“I know,” Kairi said mournfully. “I’m a dink and a coward and I don’t know how to act in front of this girl. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“I guess?”

“I am a mature adult competent in basic social graces. Being around Yuffie shouldn’t turn me into a bumbling idiot and the mere mention of her name shouldn’t send me fleeing in terror. Even if I think she’s adorable and her girlfriend outclasses me in every way.”

“That can’t possibly be true.”

“You didn’t see her.”

“I don’t need to. You are the classiest person I know and I know a lot of people, Kairi. Even if you think Yuffie is classier—“

“—Yuffie is not classier than me,” Kairi interjected. “It’s her girlfriend.”

“Fine, _Yuffie’s girlfriend_ ,” Riku said, rolling his eyes, “she’s not. Classier, I mean. But, if meeting this classy chick has sent your confidence into a total nose dive I’ll slap a fancy hat on you and everything will be okay.”

“Your hat fetish won’t fix this.”

“I do not have a hat fetish,” Riku snapped, but it was without heat. “I just appreciate the confidence hats provide, which is something you need.”

“I think you’ve just revealed something deeply personal about yourself if you need to derive confidence from headgear,” Kairi said. Riku laughed.

“There’s my girl,” he said,” he said. “You got the tickets?” At Kairi’s nod Riku pulled his fedora off his head and dropped it on hers. “You just got a 10+ for your classy stats. You outclass everyone everywhere, Kairi, but if you forget that and turn tomato red, my hat’s big enough to hide your face.”

Kairi adjusted her hat so that she could give Riku a righteous glare. Riku shifted the stick and gave her a smirk. That smirk looked suspicious to her so the redhead glanced around and realized they were parked in front of her work. Kairi tried to yell at him, but couldn’t get the words out. That just made his smirk burst into an outright grin.

“No,” Kairi ordered. “Just no.”

“Kairi, this thing starts in half an hour. You’ve gotta get out of the car.”

“No.”

“So you’re just gonna leave the girl you like waiting in front of Hollow Bastion without tickets thereby totally screwing up her Saturday night after promising to hangout. And this is after you let her fall down a flight of stairs.” Riku crossed his arms and shook his head. “Not cool man.”

“…no,” Kairi groaned. “I’ll be the responsible adult and at least meet up with her to give her the tickets. Just give me a minute, okay?”

“Sure. We’ve got half an hour.”

“And I did not let her fall.”

“I know, Kairi.”

Kairi took several deep breaths and prepared to not hyperventilate. She looked down at her clothes feeling self-conscious. She had on jeans and a t-shirt; so not what she would have worn if she had been expecting to see Yuffie tonight. Kairi liked to imagine that if she went on dates she would be the type to dress nicely for them. Sora’s definition of ‘nice’ tended to center on picking Hawaiian shirts that matched his clown shoes, which had never been Kairi’s. At least it was a witty science themed t-shirt?

“How do I look?” she asked.

“Classy as fuck,” Riku said. He gently punched her in the shoulder. “Now go sweep this Yuffie chick off her feet before I boot your ass outta my car.”

Kairi slid out of the car, automatically shutting the shut as she emerged. She turned back and peered at her friend through the passenger window. “What do I do if this is all just some epic disaster?” she asked.

“You text me and then I call you about an emergency. I’ll come and pick you up.” Riku frowned and pointed a finger at her. “But I’ll know its total bullshit if you call before at least an hour passes.”

“An hour from now?”

“An hour from after the meet-up starts. Kairi, I love you, but you freeze. You’ll need at least half an hour of actually doing shit to loosen up. You’re up here too much,” Riku said, tapping his temple. “Sometimes you just gotta live down here.” At this he gestured to his genitals.

“Riku, that is disgusting.”

In response Riku just shot her a smirk and shifted his car into gear. He drove away leaving Kairi stranded at her work. She watched the vehicle until it was out of sight before turning to face the Hollow Bastion Museum of Science. Within a minute Kairi had summoned enough courage to walk into the lobby and find Yuffie. It took her another three minutes to actually do it.

When she finally found her crush Yuffie gave her a big hug. Kairi hazarded a guess and categorized the hug on the low end of ‘bone-crunching’ as it left her flushed and breathless. She vaguely wondered if that hug bruised her ribs.

“Dude, I am so happy to see you,” Yuffie said after releasing the redhead. “Haven’t seen you since my graceful descent down a flight of stairs face first.”

“I don’t think your face ever actually touched the stairs. You slid down on your back,” Kairi quietly corrected. Yuffie just laughed at that and ran a hand over Kairi’s arm.

“You’re right, I remember staring at the lights and I couldn’t have done that if I went down face first. Still, you gotta appreciate the alliteration, right?” Yuffie grinned at Kairi as if waiting for an answer. Kairi gave a small nod, which made the grin grow. “You know, I’m not usually that klutzy.“

“I figured.”

With that comment Kairi’s mind ground to a halt. She could feel her half smile locking in place on her face. It was the one that always vaguely looked to her like a cadaver’s smile after the skin had dried out enough to reveal teeth. It was Kairi’s least favorite smile. Still, she found herself unable to give any other type to Yuffie. Yuffie was under no such restraints and she gave her a lovely grin. Well, it started out as a lovely grin, but faded into a nice smile as Kairi continued to give her that awkward facial expression and even more awkward silence. Kairi could feel the tension building. She was no good in social situations.

“So I guess we’ll be able to get into the museum pretty quick,” Yuffie said. She scratched her temple. “I think we’ve seen enough of Body Worlds and the Aquarium. Where do you think we should start?”

“I’ve always been partial to our Heartless Gallery,” Kairi said. “Either that or the Dinos. Dinos are always fun. Or would you want to start with the beer? I think the museum hands out free beer samples. Maybe some of its wine or liquor. Not entirely certain what liquor is. Do you have a preference?”

“For booze or gallery?”

“Either.”

Yuffie shrugged. Kairi refrained from flinching. Things were not going smoothly. Neither of them appeared to want to make a decision. Kairi didn’t want to send the evening in the wrong direction. Since she was already going to choose wrong, she may as well choose wrong in the way she found most attractive. Drinking would just make her seem even dumber, though Riku might say it was exactly what she needed. He’d say it would make her loosen up and be more willing to seduce Yuffie. Riku was a bad influence that should be ignored.

“Shall we visit the Heartless Gallery?” Kairi offered with a grin. “I’d like to start there.”

“Sounds good,” Yuffie said. There was a pause and then she said, “By the way, that’s a snazzy hat.” Kairi mumbled out a ‘thanks’ and flushed bright red. Yuffie grinned and continued, “If I had realized you were going to wear a fedora I would have worn mine too. Then we’d be matching.”

They stood around quietly until the doors to the exhibit space opened. Then Kairi got to trade her tickets in for a pair of wristbands for her and Yuffie. They strapped them on and then entered into the museum proper. The first thing they ran into was a beer stand, which they carefully navigated around on their way to the Heartless Gallery. Yuffie actually seemed more interested in following her than beer, which may explain how they reached the Heartless Gallery so quickly and in one piece. Kairi felt a little flattered from the attention, but mostly she was relieved that it would be a bit longer before she became a drunken dink.

“What should we look at first?” Yuffie asked. She turned around scanning the gallery for something eye catching.

“I think the main draw is the fact we’ve got some foam keyblades people can play with over there,” Kairi said, pointing to one side of the gallery. “It’s sort of a less messy struggle for indoors. Though we’ve also got some real key chains and a bit of the Ansem Report on display.”

“I don’t really feel like having you hand me my ass at the moment,” Yuffie laughed. Kairi smiled at her, pleased the girl remembered she could use a keyblade. “And while I know the Report’s a work of genius, bla bla bla, I can’t imagine seeing the original is really that exciting compared to the reprint. I mean, is spidery lilac writing really that exciting?”

“From a historical context it is,” Kairi said.

“Did I ever suggest I was a history major?” Yuffie asked, waggling her eyebrows.

“No, but you can still appreciate it.”

“Naw, between my dad and Tifa I’ve got enough people in my life worrying about propriety and the historical context that shapes the world we live in,” Yuffie said. She swiped a hand through the air as if dismissing the subject. Kairi’s face fell. She had forgotten about Tifa. “But if you like history, that’s cool too,” Yuffie said, patting Kairi’s arm. “Tell me everything you know about Ansem!”

“I don’t really know that much about him,” Kairi said. She tried to grin at Yuffie, but it came out all wrong again. It seemed she could either be totally comfortable and at ease with the karate instructor or Kairi could remember to respect Yuffie’s personal boundaries and focus on how socially acceptable her behavior was toward her friend. “I mean, I know he was a former king and ruled until the Horned Queen usurped power, but that’s about it. I haven’t had training in this gallery. I bet there’s some info posted about him here somewhere.” There had to be a way to manage both at once.

“Hey what’s that?” Yuffie asked. She pointed toward an open set of double doors with shadow heartless plastered above them. “It looks fun.”

“I have no idea. Shall we investigate?”

“Let’s.”

Yuffie flashed her a brilliant grin, grabbed Kairi’s hand, and pulled her to the doors. After peering inside Yuffie bounced through the doors dragging Kairi with her. It was a small theater that, based on the location and décor, showed a short film on heartless. There were some kids sitting in the front, so Yuffie pulled her to the back and then pushed her into a seat. Before Kairi could begin to miss the physical contact hand holding provided Yuffie had sprawled herself across the seat next to her and draped an arm across Kairi’s shoulders to pull her close. Kairi was a little stunned by all this. The redhead wasn’t certain how to respect Yuffie’s personal space when she didn’t seem to have any.

“I think it’s about to start,” Yuffie murmured into Kairi’s ear as the room darkened. Kairi mumbled her agreement. She felt a little dazed. She could feel something soft and squishy against her left shoulder that she was pretty certain wasn’t part of the seat. Yuffie pulled a little bit away from Kairi and the squishy moved. “This is okay, right? I mean, I’m not too close, right?”

“No, you’re great,” Kairi said faintly. She could feel Yuffie’s grin as the girl shifted back to her original position. Kairi leaned back a little more in an attempt to use her chair properly, not increase the breast-to-scapula surface area ratio.

The film was good. Surprisingly good. Kairi realized that this was the Museum’s way of showing the public how heartless behaved in their natural environment without corrupting said behavior or endangering anyone. After all, it couldn’t truly be called a heartless gallery without heartless on display. A video could convey movement, which did not happen with heartless one stuffed and mounted for display. Many mounted heartless also had the unfortunate habit of resurrecting themselves and killing the person foolish enough to have them on display. Kairi’s favorite part had to be the powerwilds fighting over bananas; they were just like real monkeys. However, Kairi did not appreciate the theater simulating heartless actually being in the room. She realized after the show ended that they were just little paired yellow light bulbs, but during it she would have sworn neoshadows were rising out of every surface available. While she didn’t squeal in terror and embarrass herself in front of the whole room, Kairi did latch onto Yuffie. Her behavior earned her some snickering on Yuffie’s part, but Kairi appreciated that Yuffie didn’t tease her for being afraid.

After the show ended they left the Heartless Gallery. While there was still more to do there, Yuffie was ready for something else and Kairi couldn’t agree more. She was still a bit spooked from the movie. They hit a beer stand before going to Dinos and Fossils. The gallery had quite a few dinosaurs assembled throughout the gallery and even a large pit with a partly visible champsosaur skeleton built into the ground to simulate an archeological dig site. Kairi rather liked it since there were play pickaxes, shovels, brushes, and headlamps for visitors to don during their discovery. The fact it was also an indoor sandbox was less pleasant and made tidiness an issue for level 3. Kairi was grateful they kept it capped tightly shut during camp ins, otherwise she probably would have needed to rescue buried children when she worked the gallery for the first time almost three months ago.

Yuffie downed her drink, then slapped a headlight on and dived into the pit. Kairi followed more slowly. They took their time recovering a champsosaur skull and a couple of imprint fossils. While working the girls had a lively discussion on the pros and cons of feathers on dinosaurs. Kairi was rather pleased with recent findings, as it connected birds much more strongly to the rest of their phylogenetic clade and suggested what colors dinosaurs actually were. Yuffie on the other hand, felt that feathers took away a lot of the traditional badassery assigned to the ‘terrible lizards.’ The new scientific drawings weren’t half as scary looking as the dinos in the old Jurassic Park movies. She insisted she’d laugh at a feathery T-rex attempting to run her down as compared to the horrors she fled in childhood. 

Although even Yuffie had to admit the idea of solar-powered stegosaurus was pretty cool. When Kairi pressed the other girl as to why she liked the hypothesis so much (which is not to say she didn’t also like it as well, it tickled her sensibilities) Yuffie explained she liked the idea of lizards running around with built in solar paneling for thermal control. It would be even cooler if they had chloroplasts as a sort of plant-animal hybrid, but even without being power stations Yuffie had always liked the mighty stegosaurus. Kairi took some photos of her friend mugging about with her dino pal and Yuffie returned the favor by getting some shots of Kairi with the diplodocus. For the better, the diplodocus was now braless, though Yuffie admitted she would have liked a few shots of dinos gone wild after Kairi told her about her last experience with the reptilian cast.

“It’d be epic,” Yuffie laughed, slinging her arm around Kairi’s shoulders. “We’ll throw our bras on its boney back and take some wicked photos!”

“I think you’re intoxicated,” Kairi said, trying to not smirk. “I can assure you, you will be taking on this endeavor alone and I will laugh as security drags you out.”

“I’ve only had one drink,” Yuffie protested, “but I would love to have another one with you and just skip out on any more silly pictures for the moment. I think they’re handing out beer on level 7. We could go there up and check out the weather stuff at the same time. You in?” Kairi nodded and then turned toward the elevators. She felt Yuffie’s arm slide from her shoulders down to the small of her back. It wasn’t a scandalous position, but it wasn’t the sort of move Kairi’d make on anyone who she wasn’t dating. Then again, Yuffie was a lot more touchy-feely than Kairi.

They went upstairs and got beer. While their museum entry allowed them a limited number of beer samples, those samples weren’t more than a few ounces each, so Yuffie bought a couple of bottles. She insisted it was the least she could do considering the fact Kairi got them into the party. Yuffie also tried to buy them food, but Kairi had to draw the line somewhere.

“Seriously, Yuf, what is with all the food?” Kairi asked, grinning. “Every time we hang out you’re trying to shove food down my throat. I’m beginning to think you’re either trying to get me fat or you think I look like a half-starved animal and can’t afford to feed myself on my kickass museum salary. So which is it?”

“Neither! I actually think you are one of the most attractive women I have had the pleasure of doing random shit with,” Yuffie said. “I also think you’re a mature adult able to maintain your eating habits on your own. It’s just I happen to like eating and I like to share with people I like.”

“Oh,” Kairi said, feeling embarrassed.

“I also like making you blush.”

At that statement Kairi realized she had turned pink yet again and silently cursed her ancestors for her fair skin and capillaries willing to dilate at the drop of a hat. Thinking of that idiom reminded Kairi she had on hat large enough to hide her entire face. So she tipped it forward till the brim touched her nose and took a swig of beer. Ha, Yuffie could get no pleasure from her blush now.

“Ya know, hiding like that is just like taunting me into making you blush even more,” Yuffie said. Kairi imagined Yuffie leaning and whispering something in her ear that would cause her blush to extend to her clavicle. Unfortunately, the very thought made her face heat. Yuffie laughed. “By Leviathan, I haven’t even done anything!” She flicked the brim of Riku’s fedora, knocking the hat back into its original position on Kairi’s head. Yuffie’s usual jack-o-lantern grin had morphed into a sweet smile. “I hope you realize you’re adorkable and I think you have amazing eyes. Seriously, purple is a totally awesome eye color.”

“I’ll buy you the nachos you wanted,” Kairi blurted. _‘Real smooth,_ ’ she scolded herself. _‘That is exactly what you say in this sort of situation.’_ Yuffie just raised an eyebrow.

“Sounds like a plan. I did get the beer after all.” She clinked their bottles together. “While you do that, I’ll find us a table, kay?” Kairi just nodded and shuffled away.

Kairi gathered her thoughts as she stood in line for nachos. Yuffie was being way more than just overly friendly touchy-feely. In fact, Kairi would go as far as to suggest Yuffie was hitting on her with a vengeance. _‘A sexy courteous vengeance,’_ said the little voice in her head. Kairi growled at it. Women hitting on other women while their girlfriend waited at home were not courteous. In fact, they were the opposite of courteous. Right now Kairi should find Yuffie’s behavior deplorable and despicable and maybe toss her beer in Yuffie’s face before calling Riku and going home because if she was not going to be the other woman. Not ever. So then why was she ordering nachos with the works because she knew that was exactly how Yuffie liked them? Maybe she did need to call Riku.

After she was nacho laden Kairi went in search of Yuffie. She found her sitting at a table on the terrace overlooking the bluff and waterways. Yuffie grinned and waved her beer at Kairi. Kairi managed to return a corpse smile. She set the nacho platter in front of Yuffie. Then, instead of taking one of the two seats next to Yuffie, Kairi sat down across the table from her. She watched Yuffie dig in, but after a minute the karate instructor paused to stare at Kairi.

“You okay?” Yuffie asked. “Are you cold? Maybe I should have found a table inside, but I thought you’d appreciate the view from out here more and there are less drunk people.”

“I’m fine,” Kairi said softly. It was cold, but that was a relief from the overly hot museum full of drinking partiers. Yuffie stared at her for a moment, but then resumed eating. She offered some to Kairi and after a moment the redhead leaned over the table to grab a few topping-heaped chips.

Popping them in her mouth she munched in silence. This silence lacked the ease she had felt back in Dinos and Fossils, though it wasn’t as bad as it had been when she first arrived. That surprised her. After all, she had been scared and nervous when Riku dropped her off, while now she was embarrassed and confused. This wasn’t an improvement in her book.

Kairi bit her lip in surprise. She had just realized she no longer felt like a bundle of nerves, stress, and tension. She hoped it was because she was enjoying Yuffie’s company and not simply the desired primary effect of alcohol. What a downer it’d be to learn she could only loosen up with booze in her system.

“What’s with that face?” Yuffie asked. “You look like you just realized you licked a cat or something.”

“Like I licked a cat?”

“Well, yeah. You know how it is when your tongue feels all furry and nasty? Your facial expression is the exact one I’ve seen after someone accidently licked a cat. So what’s up?”

“I can assure you I haven’t been licking felines,” Kairi said, immensely pleased with her word choice. There was nothing embarrassing about the term ‘feline,’ unlike another choice synonym, and she was delighted she hadn’t started snickering when she thought of the other word. Okay, the alcohol was affecting her more than she had thought. “However I have come to the conclusion that I have already imbibed more soporifics—due to a misguided attempt to relieve social tension—than necessarily advised as I am a quintessential lightweight.”

“Do you always bust out the three syllable vocab when tipsy?”

“That has nothing to do with inebriation and everything to do with nervousness.”

“You don’t have to be nervous around me,” Yuffie said gently. She reached out and took one of Kairi’s hands in hers. “Kairi, listen I—“

Whatever else Yuffie was going to say was cut off by someone else calling Kairi’s name. The redhead whipped around in horror to see Mickey standing behind her with a sheepish grin on his face.

“What’s up, boss?” Kairi asked meekly.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Less than a bottle,” Kairi said after glancing down at her half finished drink. “Why? As far as she could tell she wasn’t acting particularly drunk or obnoxious. Her eyes narrowed. Something was up; otherwise Mickey wouldn’t be out here bothering her while she was clearly in a vague romantic situation. She glanced down to double check that she wasn’t drinking with her badge on. Mickey had a thing about employees doing that.

“Excellent,” Mickey said, nodding to himself. “I’m sorry to ask, but could you clock in and cover the aquarium on level 2? Hayner’s gotten rather sick and we’re short staffed.”

“How sick is rather sick?”

“He’s thrown up in a fish tank.”

Kairi glanced at her companion, who just shrugged. Yuffie seemed to understand this was one of the dangers of going to work for fun. Obviously, she was willing to leave the choice up to Kairi here. She sighed and nodded toward Mickey.

“Alright,” she said. Then turning toward Yuffie she asked, “Want the rest of my beer?” Yuffie grinned as she pulled the bottle out of her hand.

“I’ll meet you downstairs after I finish this,” she said gesturing to the meal.

Kairi didn’t know if she was disappointed or relieved that she had to work. She followed Mickey down to the lobby. Before they parted way he asked if he had interrupted anything important. All Kairi could do was shrug. He probably had, but making him feel bad about it wouldn’t help.

When she made it down to the Aquarium Kairi pointedly ignored the feeding frenzy in one tank. Hayner was nowhere in sight, which was probably for the best. She nipped into the office for a radio and vest. While inside the office Kairi’s cell phone rang. It was Riku. She wasn’t supposed to take calls at work, but she wasn’t supposed to be working either. Besides, Riku had been expecting her to call and if she didn’t answer he might get worried enough to come downtown and look for her. The overprotective brother instinct ran strong in Riku toward his pseudo-sibling.

“It’s been over two hours and I haven’t heard a peep out of you. I take it the date is going well?” Riku greeted on her.

“It’s not a… okay it’s totally a date. I’m pretty certain she’s been hitting on me all night,” Kairi admitted.

“Hitting on vs flirting?”

“There’s a difference?”

“Oh Kairi. There is so much you need to learn.”

“I’m sorry my education is deficient.”

“At least you’ve hopefully learned that ladies love fedoras?”

“Hat fetishist. Sure, she said she liked it, but she’d rather see my face than your stupid hat.”

“Did I interrupt sloppy make outs?”

“What? No!” Kairi hissed. She glanced out at her gallery. It was pretty much empty. That made sense to her as the Aquarium was the lowest most out of the way gallery and they didn’t serve alcohol here. Kairi jammed on her earpiece. “There aren’t going to be any make outs, sloppy or otherwise.”

“Are you really certain Yuffie has a girlfriend?”

“You didn’t see the way they interacted.”

“Hey, concussions make people do really weird shit. Last time I got one I refused to wear pants for two days.”

“That sounds like any given weekend for you.”

“My point is Yuffie’s behavior might not have been what she actually felt. Did girlfriend act particularly girlfriendy when you saw her with Yuffie?”

“Umm…” Kairi tried to remember how exactly Tifa had acted. She had been more focused on Yuffie, freaking out over Yuffie, and Tifa’s breasts at the time. “I can’t really remember.”

“Did you ever actually hear Yuffie call whatshername her girlfriend?”

“No,” Kairi admitted. “But—“

“—But nothing!” Riku snapped. “Just ask her outright if she’s dating anyone. Yuffie sounds like she’s been upfront with you so far, which means she’ll probably let you in the loop. If she’s already involved, you’ll set boundaries and if she’s not, I won’t expect you coming home tonight.”

“Okay, whatever the case I’m coming home tonight.” Yuffie poked her head into the office and flashed Kairi a grin. She had to smile back. “I gotta go.” Then she cut the call off and shoved the phone in her pocket.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Who was that?”

“Just Riku, my ride home.”

“He can’t make it? Cause I can help you out with that if need be.”

“Thanks. If I need a ride I’ll definitely take you up on that.” Kairi double-checked the pockets on her work vest to make certain she had everything she needed to finish the shift. Then she brushed past her crush into the gallery. Riku had made several good points her libido argued. Unless she asked her point blank Kairi was never _really_ going to know one way or the other about Yuffie’s status. _‘And maybe,’_ Kairi silently admitted to herself, _‘if I’m point blank shot down I’ll stop obsessing over her.’_

“I’ve still got your keyblade,” Yuffie said. She seemed to be trying to fill the conversation void. “Remind me to return it tonight, either before I drop you off or Riku getting ya.”

“Will do.” Kairi carefully scanned her gallery again. Still empty.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“What? No, why would you think that?” She turned to look at Yuffie. The opposite had always been Kairi’s problem. Now she couldn’t even imagine focusing her attention elsewhere.

“Maybe ignore isn’t the right word. It’s just whenever you seem happy and relaxed and we’re having a good time something happens and you freeze up or flee or I dunno, look like you want to be somewhere else.” Yuffie sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Maybe we shouldn’t have come here. I mean, mixing personal and professional is never a good idea, yo, so I get you feeling uncomfortable with me in front of your coworkers.”

“What are you talking about? Yeah, it was a little weird with Mickey, but he was just as uncomfortable showing up to ask me to work as I was.”

“I want you to be able to be completely comfortable, and happy, and relaxed around me,” Yuffie said. “So I’d like to know what I can do to make you feel that way for the entirety of our next date. I assume not having it here might be an improvement.”

“Okay, let me get this straight, not only was this definitely a date, but you also want another date. With me.”

“Umm, yes,” Yuffie said, “though I’d rather not have anything particularly straight about any of our dates.”

“But don’t you already have a girlfriend?” Kairi blurted out. She visibly flinched when she realized what she had said. She was pretty certain she couldn’t have come up with a poorer more blunt way to ask.

“I don’t know if I’d go so far as to describe us like that. This is only our first actual date-date and we haven’t even kissed yet or anything.” Yuffie’s face crumpled into a mask of confusion. She scratched her head. “Wait a minute, that didn’t answer your question. I’m confused. What are you talking about, Kairi?”

“Isn’t Tifa your girlfriend?” Kairi asked. She could feel something deflate inside of her chest and all the tension leave her body. She had really asked the question and felt better. Perhaps the fact Kairi had actually worked up the gumption to ask was more important than Yuffie’s answer.

“No! God, no!” Yuffie snapped looking utterly scandalized.

“Really?” Kairi asked. She felt more foolish and relieved than she could have imagined. “Because when I saw you and her together you were all over her breasts and I think you kissed her.”

“I did not. Did I? My memory of that day is a little fuzzy after I fell down the stairs.”

“I think I remember you kissing her.” Kairi frowned at her memory. She knew humans were notorious concerning accurate recall. Perhaps her distraught at meeting and assuming Yuffie was dating Tifa had radically altered her recollection. “I am certain about the breast gropage.”

“Geeze, Tifa had warned me my stupid antics would eventually bite me in the ass.” Yuffie sighed and cleared her throat. In a flash of clarity Kairi realized Yuffie was immensely embarrassed by what she was about to reveal. “Keep in mind that this is sort of an old in-joke dating back to high school and remember, I was a total dumb ass back in high school. A total brat too.”

“And now that we have the self recriminations out of the way can you tell me the joke?” Kairi asked, unable to keep the smirk off her face. She was already enjoying this.

“Tifa and I have been best bros for years. We met when we were little cause she went to my dad’s dojo. She’s good, dedicated too, which is why she’s also an instructor there like me. Though Tifa’s main gig is running a bar. Anyway, even though Tifa’s two years older than me, we hit puberty at the same time. On top of being a late bloomer she… really bloomed and ended up with enormous jugs between freshmen and sophomore year of high school. Her classmates were not kind.”

“I can imagine,” Kairi said. She had a few similar experiences. When in high school she had been poked, groped, and hooted at by select members of the male population until she defended herself rather vigorously with her keyblade against a particularly handsy blitzball player. Though Kairi had to admit she suspected the real reason the male population stopped their unwanted advances had more to do with her brother torching the blitzer’s car.

“A lot of people said she had plastic surgery, which was total bull crap because Tifa didn’t want big boobs. Most martial artists don’t have them, like I’m sure you know, since breasts are basically just extra fat. That’s why I’m flat chested; I’m all muscle. Point is, the unexpected boobage left Tifa self conscious.”

“Understandable.”

“Tifa’s like me, always been a total badass. So having her nervous and, well quite frankly, uncomfortable in her own skin left me frustrated. And in my thirteen-year-old wisdom that meant getting her more comfortable with having breasts and being big breasted around other people. I helped her out to the best of my ability.”

“That entailed you groping her.”

“Well, yeah. In hindsight I realize my sexuality played a big role in how I tried to help Tifa. I really liked her breasts and touching them to build confidence didn’t seem like a bad idea. After all, ball players slapped each other’s asses all the time. I also stole a lot of her bras. I mean, she’d get them back, but she was braless in a lot of situations where she didn’t want to be.”

“You were a little monster,” Kairi said. Yuffie nodded in agreement.

“There are times when I wonder why she ever stayed my friend,” Yuffie admitted. “While some of it is because Tifa’s a loyal person, some of my efforts were useful. After the breasts came in her center of gravity was totally thrown off and I was the one she practiced with constantly to recover her sense of it. Probably, the fact she got to punch and kick me on a regular basis also helped. Oh, and Tifa appreciated the fact I got into a lot of fights defending her from assholes. I think I had detention almost every day in high school.”

“Didn’t Tifa graduate before you?” Kairi asked. At Yuffie’s nod she continued, “Then why were you still getting detention in your later years?”

“Well, by my junior year I was out and angry and the dudes who wanted a fight knew I’d give them one,” Yuffie explained. “By the time I graduated I had enough sense not to grope her as a confidence booster, but the name ‘Big Boobs’ stuck. I use it whenever she’s acting too big for her britches—or, I guess I should say bra. Even though she’s too polite to say it, Aerith thinks it’s hilarious when I call Tifa out on her shit behavior. All I can imagine is that the concussion knocked some of my old bad behavior back into play. I can assure you I haven’t touched Tifa’s breasts since.”

“Thank you for the thorough explanation. You’ve put my mind at ease.”

“No problem. Though I have to say I don’t exactly consider this to be first date conversation.”

“May I ask one more pesky question that’s hopefully easier to answer?” Yuffie dramatically flung her arms out wide and declared herself an open book. Kairi laughed. She liked Yuffie’s silliness. “Who is Aerith?”

“Tifa’s girlfriend. She’s also my friend and doctor. She got her MD last year and only just started her residency at Yevon United, but Aerith’s been my go to doc since they started dating. Hold on a sec.” Yuffie whipped out her phone and poked at it. A minute later she handed it to Kairi. “Aerith is the one in pink.”

Kairi had grin. The phone showed two women who were obviously a couple. Tifa was mostly hidden by her girlfriend, but her arms were firmly wrapped around Aerith’s waist as she leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Aerith, who quite possibly had the most pleasant smile Kairi had ever seen, had light brown hair and a pink sundress. She also had a hand pressed to the curve of Tifa’s jaw with her fingers tangled in Tifa’s hair. They looked delighted with each other.

“They look happy,” Kairi said, handing back the phone, “and cute together.”

“That’s be Tifa and Aerith,” Yuffie said, nodding. “So… now that I’ve proved I’m single, would you go out with me? Either again or for the first time?”

“You’re still interested in me even though I completely misunderstood just about everything you’ve done for the last few weeks?”

Yuffie glanced around the almost empty gallery and then leaned in toward Kairi as if she was about to divulge a great secret. “I’m going to level with ya,” Yuffie said, not quite whispering. “The first time we met, way back in February, I had planned on giving you my number. Had it written out on a napkin and everything. Only reason I aborted was because your day had been so damn terrible that a stranger buying you ice cream had you in tears.”

“Are you serious?” Kairi couldn’t believe this.

“Did you honestly think I saw Body Worlds eleven times just for the exhibit? It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but after my third visit the only thing I was even vaguely interested in seeing besides you was the blood bunny. Frankly, I’d be delighted if I never saw another skinless penis in my life.”

That broke a dam inside of Kairi. She burst into unbridled laughter. It was the sort of laughter that left room for nothing else and Kairi soon found herself doubled over leaning against Yuffie for support. Every time she thought she was about to get it under control she could hear Yuffie saying skinless penis again and it just cracked her up.

While at first the laughter was a giddy relief, it didn’t stay that way for long. Soon thoughts of her crush liking her before she did were replaced by the ache in her sides. She was crying and she couldn’t get enough air as her lungs kept expelling it too quickly. Eventually though, the side splitting laughter diminished to loud chuckles and then into a soft giggle. Around the time she subsided into chuckles Kairi realized she could feel a hand rubbing circles into the small of her back. After she finally had control of her body again, she decided to thank her friend. She was pretty certain the rubbing had helped.

“Thanks,” Kairi said. She wiped away tears with a hand and smiled at Yuffie. “I suppose to anyone else what you said wasn’t that funny, but you eloquently stated my sentiments toward Body Worlds to a T. I can’t believe you’re sick of the skinless penises too!”

“You should know penises aren’t my thing,” Yuffie drawled. She had gotten down on one knee with an arm on Kairi’s back and the other lightly braced against the redhead’s knee. All of this was to better stabilize the gallery worker. Kairi smiled at her. Yuffie grinned back. “Are you okay now?” Kairi nodded.

“You know, I was really hoping this could be a date before you fell down the stairs.”

“If Tifa and I were an item—ugg, what a horrible thought—what would you have done?”

“Treated this as an outing between friends and then maybe go home and cry while eating a pint of ice cream. More or less what I’ve been doing all week. Have I mentioned I’m happy you’re single?”

“I don’t plan on staying that way for long. Can I start planning our next date?”

Kairi grinned at Yuffie and took her hand. She pulled the both of them back to their feet. “Yes.”

“Awesome!” Yuffie flung her arms around Kairi and pulled her into a tighter hug. Museum workers were never actually supposed to touch visitors, but blast it, this was supposed to be Kairi’s first date with the girl she liked. With the girl who liked her back. Kairi held Yuffie just as fiercely.

“I’ve still got to work for the next two hours,” Kairi murmured into Yuffie’s shoulders. Yuffie pulled back and gave Kairi the happiest grin she had ever seen on the girl.

“Wanna do something after? End this date like a date,” Yuffie asked hopefully. Kairi nodded vigorously. “Celebratory ice cream at McDuck’s?”

“You are trying to get me fat!” Kairi accused, lightly hitting Yuffie’s shoulder. The girl just laughed.

“I’m trying to seduce you with food,” Yuffie protested. “Is it working?”

Kairi kissed her in response. Yuffie responded immediately, leaning in and tilting her head so that their lips could press together more tightly. It was a very nice kiss. Kairi would be the first to admit she didn’t have a large sample size to compare it to—only maybe a dozen with four different sets of lips if she included that kiss she gave Sora when they were six and were pretending she was giving him CPR (including chest compressions and everything) after Ursula the Sea Witch drowned him during an attempt to rescue MerePrincess Riku as she was his knight’s squire and that’s what good squires did—but she’d definitely consider it her best. Yuffie smelled wonderful and the bits pressing into Kairi were just as good. She liked feeling the other girl’s bangs tickle her nose and eyelashes. Mostly though, Kairi liked the feel of Yuffie’s soft slightly chapped lips against hers. One kiss turned into several and they would have ended up in full on sloppy make out territory, except Yuffie’s tongue brushed across Kairi’s lips early enough she was surprised and pulled back. They beamed at each other.

“I have to pretend to do my job now,” Kairi said. “Actually, I’m amazed Mickey hasn’t come down here and chewed me out for goofing off with you yet.”

“Maybe he has and was impressed with the excellent customer service you were giving,” Yuffie suggested. “Or maybe he felt bad about messing with our date and decided to let things slide since the gallery’s empty.”

Kairi glanced around. Yuffie was right. “Stay out of trouble and meet me in the lobby after we close.” She ran a hand up Yuffie’s arm to get across her point.

“I’m getting more beer and then staring at you creepily until close.” Yuffie was as good as her word, except Kairi didn’t find the staring weird. Maybe that meant she was weird. Whatever the case, Yuffie was exactly where Kairi expected to find her after she had closed her gallery and clocked out for the night.

“I’m afraid Hollow Bastion Museum of Science is now closed for the night,” Kairi greeted her shiny new girlfriend.

“I really do like that hat,” Yuffie said in response. She offered Kairi an arm, which Kairi gladly took. “Ready for some tasty ice cream?”

“Yes, and while I must admit the hat is actually Riku’s, I think it’d look best on you,” Kairi said as she lifted the fedora and placed it on Yuffie’s head. The taller girl winked at her. “So would you consider us girlfriends now, or do we need more kissing to confirm it? I don’t have a lot of experience at this.”

“Kissing lesbians?”

“Yes that, but I was actually referring to dating in general. I don’t really understand women.”

“I don’t either. See, we’re already finding things in common.”

“I did like kissing you.”

“I liked that too. In fact, I liked it enough I think we should do it again. Right now.” They paused in their stroll out of the museum to kiss in front of the stuffed polar bear next to the main set of doors. There was tongue this time. Kairi didn’t particularly care who saw them. When they broke apart Yuffie was a bit flushed. “I think that qualifies us as girlfriends.” Kairi beamed.

They exited Hollow Bastion Museum of Science arm in arm off to go find Yuffie’s truck. While the karate instructor had imbibed quite a bit this evening she appeared to be holding her liquor just fine and Kairi was totally sober. She also felt comfortable letting Yuffie drive, though if her confidence wavered in any way she wouldn’t hesitate to take the keys. Figuring this was a fine time to test Yuffie’s cognitive abilities and get an answer to a question that had been burning a hole in Kairi’s mind for years, the redhead decided to break the comfortable silence.

“Yuf.”

“Hmm?” Yuffie looked up from the keyhole on her door.

“How exactly do two women have sex?”

Yuffie dropped her keys and her jaw. After staring at Kairi for a second she bent down to pick them both up. She seemed a touch shocked at the question. Kairi decided to explain.

“See, health class barely managed to explain heterosexual sex and didn’t even bother mentioning homosexuality at all, which I’ve always thought was a real failing on the school’s part because as it turned out about a fourth of the class was gay.”

“Where exactly did you go to high school?” Yuffie demanded.

“Tiny tropical island, only really important to this conversation in that they did a real bang up job explaining sex. Anyway, the point is two guys seems sorta obvious, you just stick it somewhere, but two women…” Kairi flung her hands up in the air. “Kinda hoping that my girlfriend might have some experience on this topic.”

“Okay, I was expecting to get asked about testing at some point, but not this,” Yuffie said, giving a nervous laugh. “Y-You have heard of the internet, right?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Okay, okay,” Yuffie sighed, rubbing the spot between her eyebrows. “Get in the car.” Kairi climbed into the truck. Yuffie did the same. She leaned over and kissed Kairi then pulled back and waved her fingers on one hand. “Ya see these?” she asked, reaching over and intertwining her fingers with Kairi’s fingers. “These are really important,” Yuffie said, licking her lips. She paused, looking at Kairi meaningfully.

“Okay,” Kairi said, staring back. She was waiting for the next part.

“Leviathan’s scales! I’ve fallen for the thickest smart girl in the world!” Yuffie moaned, burying her face in her hand. She left her other hand clasped in Kairi’s hand. 

Kairi squeezed Yuffie’s hand and ran a thumb over her palm. She figured she ought to comfort her girlfriend, because Yuffie was totally right about the fact that Kairi was terrible at interpersonal communications with actual human beings. It seemed to be a key component of her design if tonight was any indication.

“Look, Kairi, I’m much better at show than tell,” Yuffie said, “and while I could definitely show you how lesbian sex happens, I’m also a romantic. While we could do it now, and my libido says yes to Plan A, I’d rather wait until it happens organically. I really like you, like, a lot, and I’ve found from personal experience that when sex is thrown in too soon it blows up in your face and goo ends up in places it has no place belonging. So, do you mind waiting just a bit longer on solving that particular mystery?”

“I believe ice cream was promised as a part of this evening, or am I going to have to wait on that too?” Kairi said, not really meaning it as a question. Yuffie gave her a confused smile. Kairi smiled at her. “I will happily hold off on mystery solving if it’s in both of our best interests. However, if I’m still in the dark on our two-year anniversary, we’re going to have a problem.”

“Two years, huh. I think we’d have more than just a problem,” Yuffie laughed. She shifted the truck into gear and grinned at Kairi. “I did promise ice cream and we’re gonna get some right now!”

“What’s your favorite ice cream?” Kairi asked as they pulled away from the museum.

“Rocky road. Yours?”

“Cookies and cream. Though really, who can say no to any sort of ice cream? Except coffee, I can’t stand coffee.”

“I think I love you.”

As the conversation drifted into other types of treats Kairi had to smile. Here she was driving off to have ice cream with, perhaps not the girl of her dreams, but certainly the girl she wanted in her dreams. Even better, Yuffie was very much in Kairi’s reality as her girlfriend. While she couldn’t see the future she was certain this relationship would turn into something epically wonderful, as Sora would say. Kairi had always realized there were a lot of benefits to working at the prestigious Hollow Bastion Museum of Science; she just hadn’t realized meeting Yuffie was one of them.


End file.
